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  • Tesco finest rhubarb and ginger 'mince pies'. Let me be clear: as mincers these are haram. On the other hand, if you're a fellow lover of the Siberian Stalks then they actually make a rather nice fruit-based afternoon pastry snack, though one that has no actual connexion with the festive season. Would probably be a good test subject for Melly's custard injector.

  • I think in certain Orthodox nativities one of the Wise Men bring sticks of early forced rhubarb as it was of greater rarity than any of the three conventional gifts.

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