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You shouldn't have lost any strength in two weeks (unless you'd tapered to peak hard beforehand) and certainly not any work capacity. Just recover hard to minimise soreness and stiffness; foam roll, eat enough protein, etc... Get a massage if you want
If you really are struggling, and next session is just as bad, cut volume down (sets/reps, not weight) and slowly add it back each week as you get used to it again.
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Always find a gentle swim helps.
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Rest, eat plenty of the right thing, lots of fluids. It’s classic reaction to a couple of weeks off - go in on a fucking mad one at the gym and knacker yourself for the next 3 days. We’ve all been there!
Lil swim sounds like a good idea. Also maybe try working alternate muscle groups (I.e back & chest) slightly lighter than normal.
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There is none. Embrace the DOMS.
Actually active recovery works best for me - keep all those fucked up muscles moving.
Wait, 2 weeks? I was off for like 5 months.
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Hit the gym for the first time in 2 weeks or so on Tuesday, it's hit me hard, I can barely walk today! Any advice on easing back in?!