Anyone broken free from professional life? Warning: rant

Good luck with this Andrew.
My notice was handed to me by employer - best decision I never made.

I secretely wake up every morning hoping this would happen to me! 3 months gardening leave

I'm on infinite 'gardening leave' and spending a lot of it ... er *gardening actually :)

*(amongst all the the other things I didn't have time for)

conservation based work

National Parks? Animals? Public art? What do you mean?

I've been busy slamming mortgage repayments, riding around the world and being drunk. Not bad on the whole but I could do with a pension and a change of scenery. Just like moving from Oz to here the last time though I always take the easy money route. It'd be nice to do something more fulfilling. Actually, I'm too selfish for that, fuck fulfilling, just get me a winning lottery ticket and let me do what the hell I want. Race all the races, ride all the rides and then move to Italy to run a cycling B&B. So, where do I get one of these winning lottery tickets?

conservation based work

start here https://www.environmentjob.co.uk/jobs

Bad day at work - I get 'em all the time - let me know the B&B address.

I'm good at what I do, perhaps it's not challenging enough now and I want some excitement back. The other thing is, having done stuff like TCR and TABR I really resent sitting here slowly dying sat on my arse making other people money. But, on the flip side, I know damn well I'm in a good position and don't want to be living hand to mouth just to ride a bike around the world. I'm too sensible for that. This position allows me to get the cash and do some of the riding. Obviously gotta take good with the bad. Sometimes I really wish I was doing something more active for a job though. Flip side of that is I'd be tired and not feel like training...

Oh the address:

Your Bike's Shit & Hippy Is Always Right Cycling B&B
1 Vino Road
Romflorenaples
58008 618

LOL would love reading Tripadvisor reviews for Hippy B&B...

There wouldn't be any, because everyone who stayed there would sign an NDA or be buried in a nearby forest, their bikes donated to Africa.

Actually, MY plan is for my my nice half (that's the missus, I'm not hearing voices) to run it while I sit back and "route plan" or maybe lead the odd ride or something. She doesn't know any of this yet...

Spare time will be spent brewing beer or making horrible but effective wine.

I really resent sitting here slowly dying sat on my arse making other people money.

So much this.

But, on the flip side, I know damn well I'm in a good position and don't want to be living hand to mouth just to ride a bike around the world. I'm too sensible for that.

But so much this

I just work less these days, and ride more. I've kinda accidentally broken out of the 'permalancer' nonsense and just do fixed time / cost projects every so often.

I used to rack up loads of overtime - I'd get in early to beat traffic but then be stuck fixing shit and then there'd be the after hours deployments. Now, fuck them. I'll do what I can but there's more to life than work. In fact thanks for reminding me. I'm going home. I went home at 16:30 yesterday and was in bed before the missus. Unheard of. Think I'm probably actually dying... ;)

Actually, MY plan is for my my nice half (that's the missus, I'm not hearing voices) to run it while I sit back and "route plan" or maybe lead the odd ride or something. She doesn't know any of this yet...

I didn't want to say it.....

You lazy bastard!

That would definitely work as I saw how mrs. hippy manoeuvred both your bikes to parking on Saturday morning 8.00h after you dropped them and ran into the hall. Didn't your race only start at 8.30h?

Hehehe CS grupetto jersey of course :-/

I'm a special kind of lazy. I will ride for days on end or work until I can't see any more but fucked if I'm going to waste my time walking around looking for a parking spot. I do the same with my car on race days - just get out and let her worry about parking. I don't do parking. Same as I'd rather walk than get the bus because 'waiting' for a bus, like parking, is a waste of my life.

If you were there why you no say hi?

I left work early and I find myself now wrapped in a towel at home.. working. #fml

That’s the trouble with the sex industry, your clients demand your attention when it suits them.

Now tell me about this towel, and what have you got on underneath it?

It's orange.

No, the towel is orange!

Underneath I have a massive...

leg.

and penis.

and if by sex industry you mean IT, then yes, we are regularly fucked.

Dvt flaring up again?

No, I'm just big boned.

Yes, I'm talking about my penis again not the fact I'm fat.

#hippyisfat

My current plan of selling my facial hair to merkin manufacturers isn't panning out well.

If you were there why you no say hi?

Peloton was leaving when you arrived and my plan was ride hard with the dregs of form left from the season. Was back by 18.00h you should have stayed?

Local countryside which does include The Peak District but could be outside of that too.