Does anyone know anything about gardening?

You are reading a single comment by @mespilus and its replies. Click here to read the full conversation.

•

Ramsaye

It’s October, bare root fruit tree season.

So remind me
Square hole 2ft deep
Dead cat at the bottom
Elephant shit on top of the cat
Tree in
Fill the hole with the soil mixed with more elephant shit
Jump around
More soil and shit
Jump up, jump up and stamp down
Tie tree to a stick

Did I miss anything?

Also, I got carried away on the internet so have ten trees to plant and my neighbours are running out of cats. Can I just use bonemeal? As for the elephant dung, will bags of general purpose compost do?

•

mespilus in reply to @Ramsaye

Realise I may be late on this,
but all the cool kids are using mycorrhizal fungi powder to encourage the growth of the secondary root system to harvest the nutrients released by the fungi.

•

Ramsaye in reply to @mespilus

Thanks, I’ll try that elsewhere but the trees are ankle deep in poo. RHS says it’s either or, fungus or poo not both.
•

littleK in reply to @mespilus

More expensive bollocks to buy just saying

About

@mespilus started