The middle aged thread

Yep, KR Barber's in Brockley is ace. Moustache-twirlingly effete, but also manly and Turkish.

I found a white chest-hair. When do I get to walk with a stick? I've always wanted to walk with a stick.

Moustache-twirlingly effete, but also manly and Turkish

You had me at Moustache-twirlingly effet

£14 for removing ear hair ... get out .....do you get avocado mashed on toast with it as well ???

You mean "Sam's" in West Lane?
It's been there years. I assume the £12 includes a haircut too.
Hopefully they've improved their technique in the 20 years since I was last in. Singed ears are not a nice feeling.
They used to do a frankly scary neck massage too that involved twisting your head till your spine clicked.

Does burning the ear hair last longer than shaving it?
And what purpose does external ear hair serve anyway - surely we should have out-evolved this by now...

Levain toast or I'm out

youre all middle aged?
youre still alive arent you?
what else do you want ffs?

The average Turk,
or rather,
the average Turk's relative who retains a landholding in Anatolia,
correctly views avocado solely as cattle fodder.
They could probably do you a tasty grilled aubergine/lettuce salad on pide.

Isn't ear hair a tertiary sexual characteristic,
like mens noses growing (see Ian Rush for more details),
and hairless lower legs.

The one thing I miss about haircuts is having my hair washed. It means a guaranteed cheeky 5 minute fag break.

I've always wanted to walk with a stick

Get a dog? Job done.

what else do you want ffs?

More bikes.

I shaved my beard off for no reason I can articulate, now it's growing back again it would appear that it's significantly whiter than the beard I removed. I have learnt my lesson.

Re sticks...
Only ever used an umbrella at funerals, however, whilst on a recent holiday in Belgium the apartment had a brolly available. Used it one day, after it had stopped raining used like a cane, by the end of the day with Trappist ales onboard, I was like a proper dandy, twirls and taps a plenty. I woke up the next morning embarrassed.

In my late twenties a girlfriend told me that she had discovered my first grey pube. How to spoil the moment.

I had cause to be in Eltham earlier today.

Found myself thinking 'it doesn't look too bad'.

What is happening to me?

Cannot face November, and want to be living in a small hotel on some faraway beach. Does this count?

I went to a National Trust site and enjoyed myself.

I'm a member of The National Trust

Do you mind !? - I'm having my tea !

Had the local mayor round for dinner last night, really feel like I've cemented my middle aged status with that one.

With 'fava beans & Chianti'?

Wearing cords and decorating the house.

I don't think I could eat a whole one.

anyone had dinner at the Captain's table? on a cruise ship?