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Hah! I stayed here with friends for NYE a few years ago: https://www.homeaway.co.uk/p704190
Was very amused to see this on google maps when we got there: https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Fun4u+Adult+Entertainment/@50.8505476,-1.0026319,17.75z/data=!4m8!1m2!2m1!1sbeefeater!3m4!1s0x0:0x6dfb5e3d51f6c7f7!8m2!3d50.8499252!4d-1.0023489?dcr=0
@Dammit ramblings had me looking for places a little further afield. I saw this place
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51963187.html
And wondered if I could get a mortgage, based on the cast iron guarantee that if my children grew up here they would obv become Monet reincarnate and we could afford it based on the future sales of their artwork..
Pretty sure its a done deal.