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Not United. And have a good look at seatguru.com to make sure you don't get an seat that looks like it has extra legroom and then find out it's where the babies in cots go. Luckily there was only one baby and they were incredibly well behaved. Also good for making sure there are USB charging sockets, you're not next to the noisy galley kitchen, etc.
Also, don't rule out connecting via Canada, as you then do US immigration there, which may save you an hour or more on US arrival, and thus take similar time overall with probably less stress.
Frequest flyers - if you had a 12 hour flight (london san fran) and the choice between lufthansa, united and virgin who do you go with?