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CSB alert (also blood/genitals description alert)
A mate of mine was at a wedding at some country house somewhere. In the evening, they were drinking on a roof terrace or balcony or something that was next to the window for the bathroom. He needed a piss and instead of walking the long way round through the doors, he decided to just climb through the window. The window was one of those older ones with a pivoting arm with holes in it that you put over a cleat in the bottom edge of the window frame to prop it open various distances.
Matey boy threw one leg over and into the bathroom, promptly slipped and fell barse first onto said cleat.
At first, he probably just felt like you did. "That hurt, ah well, need a piss". Until he got into the bathroom and thought he had wet himself.
Turns out that although the cleat had not broken the skin, it had ruptured his perineal artery and urethra, leaving only one natural egress point for the blood.
He took out his now bleeding/peeing member and panicked, first standing at the sink, then sitting on the toilet, before calling for help and subsequently and ambulance.
He was fine in the end. The endoscopy was fairly unpleasant by all accounts but he didn't lose too much blood and has had no nerve damage to speak of.
I was very dubious about this story for ages until I met another mate of his and was shown photos of the bathroom after he had gone off to hospital. It looked like a murder scene.
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stevo_com
MetalMelly
Riding home last night, stopped at the lights on Jamaica road. Van behind me sitting pretty close to my back wheel so I want a speedy getaway from the lights. Lights go green, I stick my foot on the pedal, cleat snaps and I slam my stink-bridge so hard on the saddle it bends the saddle rails. Van behind drives round me. I stagger across to the pavement and have to have five minutes. Emotional.
Ironically I had a new set of cleats in my bag that I'd bought earlier in the day but not fitted as I couldn't be bothered. Bothered now, it hurts when I wee...
burning piss/10