• Up by Edinburgh for lel, drive over puddle that is actually pot hole to centre of earth full of water. Flat tyre is fine, I have spare. When commence driving however I realise that battery light is on. Car stops and starts, check battery and alternator terminals and all kosher so assume it's just gammy connection (I'm an optimist).

    Car dies on motorway.

    Have emergency juice so can just about get enough charge to get back to control, where I discover that the pot hole has cracked alternator and alternator is dead.

    No alternators in breakers around here, so onto the rac lorry I will be going. Fml.

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