Crap 'Buzzwords'

Conf call bingo

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The use of the phrase "on point" when not referring to... a role in a military patrol

It's a while ago, but used to use it in this sense to describe the person nominated by daily rota to sit nearest the department door, who would try and intercept and engage incoming hostile customers before they could disrupt the team as a whole.

The Torygraph, of all things, the other weekend had an article along the lines of "how to understand your teenager". "On point" was one of the phrases.

You're (we're) just not hip with the kids.

'Srinkflation'

:(

"Creds deck" noun A slideshow presentation establishing what bullshit you have previously put out in a given field. Ostensibly to establish your "credentials" for the benefit of a prospective client, it actually just illustrates how little you know what you're doing.

The word impactful
.... fuck that.

I hate the abuse of the word 'key' generally, but this has triggered me in particular.

http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/15439189.Gigs_look_set_to_return_to_this_famous_old_music_venue/

The historic Standard pub is a key gateway to the Blackhorse Lane area

What is a key gateway and how can a pub be any kind of gateway to an area? Bollocks.

"rehydrate"

just say "drink"

"bin that one out"

What?

What is a key gateway and how can a pub be any kind of gateway to an area? Bollocks.

A 'gateway' used to be, and probably still is, developer-speak for "please let us stick an extra few stories on here". "Landmark" is a similar one.

Let's say you want to squeeze a 6 story building into an area where planning officers are minded to only allow 4. Submit an application for an 8 story 'landmark' for this important 'gateway' site. The planners will say no, but then you can graciously agree to cut it to 6 stories.

Anyone else using the term 'gateway' has probably been reading too many planning applications.

minded

No

Planning officers are always "minded". Them's the rules.

ha! zackly.

gateway can also mean "theres already a whopper of a 'landmark' building across the street, so let us chuck another one up"

What is 'delta'? Keep hearing the US of Aers say it. As in, "we'll do this work then that meeting will just be a delta"

Bigger than an epsilon.

An increment or difference, from maths. Used in sciences for e.g. change in speed over time.

In this case it will mean something like if you complete the work to current requirement now, then the follow up meetings will be sufficient to cover small changes to requirement as they occur.

Might have escaped into business world from economics, or IT where it used quite a bit. e.g. you do a full backup of your files every month, but you also backup the daily delta - i.e. the files that have changed that day. You can then reconstruct any day from the last complete backup plus a number of deltas.

thanks

A gateway for general over-development of an area ...

Also a popular term these days for edge-of-town retail developments.

It's almost as overused in the sector as the now meaningless buzzadjective 'sustainable' (thanks, NPPF)

It's refreshing to see bullshit used so freely in sectors (or "verticals") other than the one I work in (IT).

"wellness" why is it called wellness? It's just health right? Or is it some kind of post truth thing where "wellness" can actually mean having an eating disorder because you only eat pumpkin seeds and stick jade eggs where they shouldn't go.

see also "healthful"

stick jade eggs

Going to try and drop 'a jade egg' into my next presentation.

I'd assumed 'wellness' was invented to circumvent rules around claiming foods/supplements/etc were beneficial to health.

One of my friends describes himself - professionally - as a 'wellness warrior'. It's just too awful.