This morning's commute and other commuting stories

You only got 3, protect them!

Everyone else has only got 2 balls right? Its not just me?

haha! rep

Someone geniunely shouted this at me last week! 10/10 for originality I thought...

could bump it up to 4?

Global average is lower than that I believe.

I abandoned Lycra this year in favour of some slim swrve shorts a loose fitting plain black jersey. Feel like i get less agro from drivers and it's easier to smile/wave/chat with anyone when your body shape is less in their face. Main reason for doing it though was to loose all the constant roadie wheel huggers and strava racers i was getting tangled up with on my commute. As it seems to of worked it's sadly left me feeling like i don't really want to be in that gang anymore and i haven't touched my road bike in ages. I'm aware there's many lovely roadie's in colourful skinsuits on here that don't ride like bellends but it does feel like most my commute beef tends to be with the roadie/lycra/hi-vis crowd.

That said - nothing excuses shit/dangerous driving and you should be able to wear/ride whatever you want without someone putting your life at risk because of some generalised association.

Why is the urge to squish men in tight fitting garments so great?

For a significant section of the biking public, the novelty condom look is synonymous with "proper cyclist". For a lot of others (not just drivers), it now signals "cunt" and/or "dangerously incompetent".

The new Sky Vortex Novelty condom look.....

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Saw guy yesterday casually walking a pigeon (on a lead) down Pitfeild Street.

That said - nothing excuses shit/dangerous driving and you should be able to wear/ride whatever you want without someone putting your life at risk because of some generalised association.

Exactly what I can't get my head around.

I saw a woman taking her cat for a walk the other morning. Must try get the grab off the gopro.

This was strangely common in Riga and Tallinn when I visited a few years ago

I think in some places it's not allowed for you to let cats roam free. Stone cold killers ain't they.

Honestly, I'd prefer that to most dogwalkers recently. So many ninja dog leads and excitable breeds nowhere near their owners. Cats don't give a fuck.

(I prefer dogs to cats, too)

@pdlouche
"Cats don't give a fuck"
That's why they're so cool. Like the Fonz.

The Fonz would never run into a cyclist

Is a pigeon a wild bird?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-40509954

Or a duck?

https://www.buzzfeed.com/richardhjames/man-spotted-taking-ducks-for-a-walk-in-peckham?utm_term=.xiJdd4ZkW#.fep992q7B

Saw a lad demonstrate pure athletic braun with the finesse of a ballet dancer by doing a massive wheelie for what seemed forever on a boris bike in Peckham this evening. It turned the 5/10 commute to 9/10 commute.

Yesterday's commute was going ok until this happened. Didn't feel like leaving the bike locked up in town all day so had to carry it the rest of the way to work. Leaves me with 0 working bikes at the minute so it's the bus for me for the rest of the week (wearing full lycra anyway of course).

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Have puncture, faff about for ages with frozen fingers to get tyre off, pump up, snap valve head off in the process, redo, plus buy inner tube ... fuuuuuuu

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Just turn it into a single speed for now. Better than the bus!

Stopped for a very dapper old boy waiting at the ped crossing from the Barbican to the station this morning. Unfortunately time had taken its toll and he needed to take his time (or he was a pimp, hang on, was he a pimp?). I'm sat in the middle of the lane to block traffic, he stops half way, walks over to me and says "i think cyclists are getting politer these days!". I proper lol and then we have a very pleasant brief chat, shake hands and go on with our days. The whole time a black cab followed by several vans sit patiently and don't say shit, the cabbie even smiled as he went past me once we got going.

Faith momentarily restored, sorry to bring thread down with tales of people not being massive bell-ends.

Balham heading south, clipped a single-decker bus at the rear as I anticipated the driver; went down like a sack of spuds. No cuts or bruises, weirdly (unless this text is from the afterlife in which case my porn stash can be found in t~~%{^}*#+]^]>[++NO+CARRIER

Can't find the stash