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  • A man hears a voice in the bar saying how nice his shoes are but can see no-one but the barman.
    Minutes later the voice says how his tie tastefully matches his shirt but still, no-one to attribute the voice to. He approaches the barman and explains his puzzlement.

    'Ah' says the barman. 'That'll be the complimentary nuts.'

  • He then hears another voice shouting how his shoes are horrible his dress sense are and that his shoes are falling apart.

    The barman says "Sorry mate, the poker machine is out of order".

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