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PhilDAS
matteroftaste
Rearward, I've had a look at sheldons suggestions but I'm not confident. More than anything I'm mostly upset because I've been having a nightmare of a year already, and this is just another notch to add to the clusterfuck of 2017.
Ah well, I'll keep an eye out for some scaffold pole, and see if I can get my hands on a car jack at some point.