It's easy, buy it now, travel back in time, dig a star shaped hole, fill it with rotting virgin carcases and live fish, plant the tree upside down, water it with dry blood no times per day, but only in the morning when the sun is setting.
Then the hard part of espalliering it begins.
This is brilliant. I did a rare actual LOL. Thnaks.
Don't you have a few bits of artificial lawn left over that you could mulch with ?
@mashton started
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It's easy, buy it now, travel back in time, dig a star shaped hole, fill it with rotting virgin carcases and live fish, plant the tree upside down, water it with dry blood no times per day, but only in the morning when the sun is setting.
Then the hard part of espalliering it begins.