Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Ahem

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I similarly had no easy way to remove the same type of soil so thought I'd just give "cleaning it up as much as possible and chucking down some grass seed" a go.

I pulled all the weeds I could, removed some of the stones, put down the seed and watered it regularly. I'll look for the seed I used. I do two lots, the second after the first had started to take but looked a little thin.

It's not bowling green quality by any stretch of the imagination but it's better than the winter slippy mud patch.

You can kind of see what it used to be like. The plastic paving was to stop me from having to walk to the shed over bare earth.

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I like chucking them into my porridge, turns it pink & adds a nice sharpness!

Went through two boxes of this

EverGreen Fast Grass Lawn Seed Carton, 2.4 kg https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BWTSQJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_VQBc2Fkas1VIi

ok - thanks, that's really promising! Did you chop it up / flatten it out before sowing the seeds?

Looking at other forums, the only recommendations are manure, sand, topsoil etc, which I can't do :)

I did nothing more than weed it and clear stones. It probably helped that I had some worm activity (gross) beforehand for aeration. You can order worms for compost bins and that so maybe order a box, soak the ground and chuck them on.

Otherwise I spread my seed (gross), walked it in and kept it watered.

I still water it if it hasn't rained in a couple of days.

All the advise you have read will be the proper way to do it. But I thought if I can have a crack for less than £50 and it works, great. If not, I've not lost much and can look into getting it done properly.

Yeah, that's my thoughts - I just want to be certain as we have a child's party in August. Your pictures give me confidence it'll be doable - thanks.

I've been looking at drainage trenches as well - It might be fun to give those a crack, and like you say - not much lost.

Also, who knew that lawn laying was such a goldmine of dirty puns...

This is it right now, started late feb

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Ok - that looks good.. I'll give it a bash. Thanks - really helpful.

August might be pushing it but depending on the size, amount of light, how often you water it and drainage, it will go quicker than mine did back in Feb/March. I cut it last Friday and it needs done again already.

Yeah - I reckon it'll have to be turf rather than seed. I'll be able to get a shed though to keep my mower in :)

Anyone got any advice on looking after Aloe Vera

Got a 'mother' which I've had for years, doing fine and the 4 offshoots I potted about 3 weeks ago. They keep going a kind of brown colour so I keep assuming they're drying out and need more water.
I water and not a lot happens... I water again and still brown.
They're on the windowsill and get a decent amount of sun but not direct all day

So.. Advice please. Have paving laid over compacted earth. Want to replace some with lawn. Best time to do it? Prepping for the london clay underneath? Seed or turf? I noes nuttin.

Jeez ignore me... Just read up the thread. Back to my beer.

If you're going to spend the money on turf, turn the soil a ways down and break up as much clay as possible. I did it around the same time as Steveo. Same shit London clay soil. It's taken (although a couple of very small dead patches from, I think, cat crap).

Thanks. Yeah - I'm up for this now. I'll have to water it a fair bit before I can break it up as it's currently like concrete. At least while it's this hard it makes it easy to sweep up all the junk off the top.

I think I'm also going to put some drainage pipes / trenches underneath while it's exposed (possible overkill, but it will turn it into more of a project) and maybe order in some worms.

You can cover the broken up soil with topsoil to make it even better. I didn't do this, but most instructions suggest you do if you've got clay soil.

Yes, I may do this. We've just (finishes on Friday) installed a new kitchen and recorated the hall so I'm very keen to avoid carrying tonnes of soil through them.
I reckon if you got it work without, and I assume our soil is equally crappy, I'll put my faith in a box or two of worms (which will also amuse / disgust / give nightmares to my daughter :) ).

I'm looking forward to this now, I was resigned last night to getting a chap in to fix it for me!

If you buy any feed for it, read the label. I bought a sack of stuff that clearly says (although, I missed it when I ordered it), "NOT FOR USE ON NEW LAWNS".

But I seem to have gotten way with the odd application of miracle gro and copious amounts of water.

You'll think differently about the cabbage white next time it flutters over your brassicas

Over the last few years, Morehouse and his colleagues, including
Nathan Clark who is also at the University of Pittsburgh, have shown
that the sex life of a seemingly unremarkable butterfly is utterly
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genitals that double as a souped-up stomach. There’s even an
honest-to-goodness vagina dentata.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/06/butterfly-cabbage-white-vagina-dentata/530889/

get some horse manure and a rotivator
get some organic matter in the soil and it will forever be grateful
one day a car 20 rubble bags and your local horse stables
it will help break up the soil and will help retain moisture in the coming years

you could carry rubble bags through the house

Aloe vera doesn't need much watering so you may have over watered them.
I had the same thing happen with some offshoots and a mother plant over the winter - started turning brown - but their colour has gradually come back with the nice weather. Mine get direct sunlight almost all day