Hoke's L96

And is giving it away for free

Cazakstan - Seatpost delayed and doesn't arrive until late August.
TomvanHalen - a seatpost arrives on time but it's the wrong one
dj - seatpost arrives and bike doesn't fit
Turtlerecall - look send an almost complete L96 frameset, the only thing missing is the seat clamp.
jambon - seat 'mast' arrives on time and fits correctly but Hoke's piles worsen and can't sit on saddle.
Scilly.Suffolk - CRACK
PhilDAS - they send it with Yodel, you wait in all day but they don't knock. Instead leaving it in your "safe place" by which they mean next to a wheelie bin
BN - Everything arrives on time and fits perfectly, but Ho decides to quit track and take up competitive pie eating
Tijmen - A pro-Brexit customs officer breaks it and adds a note that says "Buy British!"
Tibbs - Arrives, fitted, instagrammed, liked, scroll to next pic in feed.
Haveo - Look has sent you a roll of ductape, a handful of zipties and a piece of paper with a smiley face on it
señor - Loses it on the way home from the post office. Resets the 5 month clock.
Coldharbour - all arrives in good time, turns out seat mast sits above min insertion point, 10mm too low. Knee flairs up, sells bike, buys Audi, hates cyclist, moans about road Tax.
Turkish - Seatmast arrives on time, but 1 day later a forumenger that lives near Hoke posts a sale ad for the exact mast he needed that he 'had in his parts bin for 6 months'
Howard - seat mast arrives but is anodised 'sweet baby blue'. Forum pukes on cock.

Poor @HoKe , ignore all the meanies, once you're sorted let's go ride brakeless, under 5km/h, or even better let's walk our bikes in the great LFGSS tradition, we'll have a beer contemplating the French engineering of that seat mast.

Wait a sec. You're planning on taking this outside?!

I like that idea, though I will be moaning than phrasing look at the beginning!

Cazakstan - Seatpost delayed and doesn't arrive until late August.
TomvanHalen - a seatpost arrives on time but it's the wrong one
dj - seatpost arrives and bike doesn't fit
Turtlerecall - look send an almost complete L96 frameset, the only thing missing is the seat clamp.
jambon - seat 'mast' arrives on time and fits correctly but Hoke's piles worsen and can't sit on saddle.
Scilly.Suffolk - CRACK
PhilDAS - they send it with Yodel, you wait in all day but they don't knock. Instead leaving it in your "safe place" by which they mean next to a wheelie bin
BN - Everything arrives on time and fits perfectly, but Ho decides to quit track and take up competitive pie eating
Tijmen - A pro-Brexit customs officer breaks it and adds a note that says "Buy British!"
Tibbs - Arrives, fitted, instagrammed, liked, scroll to next pic in feed.
Haveo - Look has sent you a roll of ductape, a handful of zipties and a piece of paper with a smiley face on it
señor - Loses it on the way home from the post office. Resets the 5 month clock.
Coldharbour - all arrives in good time, turns out seat mast sits above min insertion point, 10mm too low. Knee flairs up, sells bike, buys Audi, hates cyclist, moans about road Tax.
Turkish - Seatmast arrives on time, but 1 day later a forumenger that lives near Hoke posts a sale ad for the exact mast he needed that he 'had in his parts bin for 6 months'
Howard - seat mast arrives but is anodised 'sweet baby blue'. Forum pukes on cock.
Schnelly - Le Pen wins the election and instantly adds massive export duty. Seatpost now cost more than frame.

Le Pen wins the election

Fucking hell don't joke with that, lot less people this morning at French consulate than two weeks ago for the premier tour, scary that people's being complacent could give her a real chance today...

Cazakstan - Seatpost delayed and doesn't arrive until late August.
TomvanHalen - a seatpost arrives on time but it's the wrong one
dj - seatpost arrives and bike doesn't fit
Turtlerecall - look send an almost complete L96 frameset, the only thing missing is the seat clamp.
jambon - seat 'mast' arrives on time and fits correctly but Hoke's piles worsen and can't sit on saddle.
Scilly.Suffolk - CRACK
PhilDAS - they send it with Yodel, you wait in all day but they don't knock. Instead leaving it in your "safe place" by which they mean next to a wheelie bin
BN - Everything arrives on time and fits perfectly, but Ho decides to quit track and take up competitive pie eating
Tijmen - A pro-Brexit customs officer breaks it and adds a note that says "Buy British!"
Tibbs - Arrives, fitted, instagrammed, liked, scroll to next pic in feed.
Haveo - Look has sent you a roll of ductape, a handful of zipties and a piece of paper with a smiley face on it
señor - Loses it on the way home from the post office. Resets the 5 month clock.
Coldharbour - all arrives in good time, turns out seat mast sits above min insertion point, 10mm too low. Knee flairs up, sells bike, buys Audi, hates cyclist, moans about road Tax.
Turkish - Seatmast arrives on time, but 1 day later a forumenger that lives near Hoke posts a sale ad for the exact mast he needed that he 'had in his parts bin for 6 months'
Howard - seat mast arrives but is anodised 'sweet baby blue'. Forum pukes on cock.
Schnelly - Le Pen wins the election and instantly adds massive export duty. Seatpost now cost more than frame.
Acliff - After their success in the American elections, russian hackers have been spending their downtime making Hoke suffer for bare jokes. Seatmast wins French election and French flag changed to red yellow and blue.

inanimate carbon seatmast for PM

Cazakstan - Seatpost delayed and doesn't arrive until late August.
TomvanHalen - a seatpost arrives on time but it's the wrong one
dj - seatpost arrives and bike doesn't fit
Turtlerecall - look send an almost complete L96 frameset, the only thing missing is the seat clamp.
jambon - seat 'mast' arrives on time and fits correctly but Hoke's piles worsen and can't sit on saddle.
Scilly.Suffolk - CRACK
PhilDAS - they send it with Yodel, you wait in all day but they don't knock. Instead leaving it in your "safe place" by which they mean next to a wheelie bin
BN - Everything arrives on time and fits perfectly, but Ho decides to quit track and take up competitive pie eating
Tijmen - A pro-Brexit customs officer breaks it and adds a note that says "Buy British!"
Tibbs - Arrives, fitted, instagrammed, liked, scroll to next pic in feed.
Haveo - Look has sent you a roll of ductape, a handful of zipties and a piece of paper with a smiley face on it
señor - Loses it on the way home from the post office. Resets the 5 month clock.
Coldharbour - all arrives in good time, turns out seat mast sits above min insertion point, 10mm too low. Knee flairs up, sells bike, buys Audi, hates cyclist, moans about road Tax.
Turkish - Seatmast arrives on time, but 1 day later a forumenger that lives near Hoke posts a sale ad for the exact mast he needed that he 'had in his parts bin for 6 months'
Howard - seat mast arrives but is anodised 'sweet baby blue'. Forum pukes on cock.
Schnelly - Le Pen wins the election and instantly adds massive export duty. Seatpost now cost more than frame.
Acliff - After their success in the American elections, russian hackers have been spending their downtime making Hoke suffer for bare jokes. Seatmast wins French election and French flag changed to red yellow and blue.
Sumo - it doesn't arrive.

Seatmast arrives, clamp won't fit saddle rails.

Acliff - After their success in the American elections, russian hackers have been spending their downtime making Hoke suffer for bare jokes. Seatmast wins French election and French flag changed to red yellow and blue.

megalolz

And the winner is....

@Sumo

'it doesn't arrive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Zyrofisher says the seatmast should be with them on the 8th May that week

The week is young.
(not sure how that ended up as @branwen)

Seriously I know a lot of people are have good relationship with zyrofisher and how they work 'when they have stock'

But for me they're FUCKING USELESS IDIOTS!!!! (Idiots is a gentle description to describe them atm, as I have much colour choose of words for these unreliable and untrustworthy twats!)

I gave them the benefit of the doubt thinking it might arrive for my birthday. (wishful thinking)

I ask lmnh to ask about the current situation of the seatmast and the eta of when it will be arriving this week, I got a reply from the shop that it will be delayed and it will be here on the week of the 22nd of May.

But for me they're FUCKING USELESS IDIOTS!!!! (Idiots is a gentle description to describe them atm, as I have much colour choose of words for these unreliable and untrustworthy twats!)

Welcome to the bike industry my friend!

lol

Yeah. It's a muddle. In their defense - unless they've lost it or something - there's not really much that's under their control here, other than the ability to mess up your expectations which is so bike industry standard.

Still, makes the six weeks my F-Si lefty was dead for look like a minor inconvenience.

This is still the week commencing the 8th May, yes? I'd give them a few days before saying that they've fucked up again. What was the actual wording from the email?

I've had an email from them before saying that an item I was waiting for arrived around 5pm and they put it out on a next working day delivery for me.

I'm a very patient person and I don't mind waiting for something that will eventually turn up, but waiting around from January and everytime told it will be delayed by the end of the month and basically saying there will be a delay is just taking the piss.

I can totally ignore the fact it is out of there control and it's down to look and there manufacture and delivery process, but what I don't accept and this is pretty much from day one from Zyrofish is there pathetic communication towards not only the customers but also the shop disturbers in when the product is turning up. I say this because I and lmnh have no once received a email from them directly or a simple apology informing there will be a delay, which is totally unacceptable and highly unprofessional.

This is gone from an internet banter to a fucking joke!

Cazakstan - Seatpost delayed and doesn't arrive until late August.
TomvanHalen - a seatpost arrives on time but it's the wrong one
dj - seatpost arrives and bike doesn't fit
Turtlerecall - look send an almost complete L96 frameset, the only thing missing is the seat clamp.
jambon - seat 'mast' arrives on time and fits correctly but Hoke's piles worsen and can't sit on saddle.
Scilly.Suffolk - CRACK
PhilDAS - they send it with Yodel, you wait in all day but they don't knock. Instead leaving it in your "safe place" by which they mean next to a wheelie bin
BN - Everything arrives on time and fits perfectly, but Ho decides to quit track and take up competitive pie eating
Tijmen - A pro-Brexit customs officer breaks it and adds a note that says "Buy British!"
Tibbs - Arrives, fitted, instagrammed, liked, scroll to next pic in feed.
Haveo - Look has sent you a roll of ductape, a handful of zipties and a piece of paper with a smiley face on it
señor - Loses it on the way home from the post office. Resets the 5 month clock.
Coldharbour - all arrives in good time, turns out seat mast sits above min insertion point, 10mm too low. Knee flairs up, sells bike, buys Audi, hates cyclist, moans about road Tax.
Turkish - Seatmast arrives on time, but 1 day later a forumenger that lives near Hoke posts a sale ad for the exact mast he needed that he 'had in his parts bin for 6 months'
Howard - seat mast arrives but is anodised 'sweet baby blue'. Forum pukes on cock.
Schnelly - Le Pen wins the election and instantly adds massive export duty. Seatpost now cost more than frame.
Acliff - After their success in the American elections, russian hackers have been spending their downtime making Hoke suffer for bare jokes. Seatmast wins French election and French flag changed to red yellow and blue.
Sumo - it doesn't arrive
YAL - Ho has to go motherfucking France to pick up the motherfucking seatpost in person

No email or phone call from there.

I ask lmnh to chase them up, and they're response is that it is now delayed at least till the 22nd May.

Dang. Definitely not just LMNH delaying it so they keep it in their window for a good amount of time? ;)