Bikes on trains in the UK

Again. Risky. It's so often down to the guard and if he's had his conjugals. Rare to see a lady handling this stuff but I suspect it would work out better

wtf hippo, ride your bike there

GWR have the most space on trains but shit policy - that said last time I used them the guard came running over to check my bike out.

Never had a problem with SWT, even when I've snuck a non-folding bike on a peak service (just taken both wheels off and not been a dick)

Yeah tis risky but if he's already bought his tickets what's he got to lose?

Once you get past the gates in my experience the train staff are often quite accomodating

I think it was a pendolino from Carlisle to Euston that I was on. They were very cool about helping me get the bike on (so they fucking should for £110) but they most certainly were checking bike bookings and I'd not risk trying to get on one without a booking for the bike. 99% chance you'll get the bloke who wants to ruin your day.

No.

GWR have the most space on trains

Except when they give all their train carriages to the fucking Heathrow Connect and their shitty service is left with 3 carriage trains at fucking peak hour. GWR twats.

And only while the legacy coaches last. The new generation have 2/4 spaces on a train for 500 people.

GWR or pendolino? Not really encouraging multi-mode transport are they?

book with Red Spotted Hanky and you can reserve your bike slots at the same time.

If I were you I'd be tempted to take the sleeper all the way to Inverness or Fort William and start from there and do a circuit or something? Pain in the ass getting anywhere from JOG and the route from Edinburgh to Inverness is definitely not as spectacular as riding from Fort William to Durness and Cape Wrath.

HTFU

Except I want to ride the LEJOG record route that I didn't do (somewhere north of Perth?). I'm not looking for a 'nice ride', it's more about finishing some unfinished business and doing a route check of that leg in case I ever decide to have another crack at it (as unlikely as that is now).

Say I do 400k north, how far south would I then have to ride to get a good train back to London?

No.

Inverness to Edinburgh or Glasgow is a decent service and you can reserve bike spaces easily with Scotrail. Connections then on to London with Virgin/GWR.

Y u so lazy?

I blame the Tories.

easiest option would be to pedal from John o Groats to Thurso and grab the train there which is 20 miles, or alternatively it's 50 miles down to Helmsdale. More food and hotel options at Thurso though.

20-50mi sounds easy enough.
This might not happen but I figured after pulling the pin on LEJOG and LEL I could trick the monkey on my back by getting the train to Edinburgh and THEN riding north :)

All of them, the mk III and IV coach sets that came with the 125s and class 90's at the end of BR in the early 1990's are up for replacement. Modern thinking says guards vans are a waste of space so bikes have to kept in the main accommodation which limits it to only a couple.

Agreed. Classic case of computer says no. But once past the technology you're usually ok.

There is another way to get a bike on a train without a reservation, don't ask me how I know this:

1. Wait until 5 min before train leaves
   
2. Stroll confidently through ticket barriers with bike
   
3. Enter guard van with bike, put it in
   
4. When guard says "where's your reservation" stall for time, faff with tickets
   
5. Faff so much they let you stay on the train because otherwise it'll be late
   
6. Skulk into the quiet carriage and enjoy your free bike space
   

^ doesn't always work:

http://annacycles.co.uk/cycling/never-argue-with-a-ticket-man/

Oof!

Yes, have had similar interaction where I haven't been allowed through the barriers when arriving only 3-4 minutes before the train departs.

I hope the author tracked the guard down and slowly sent him sick, mad and finally to his death by shaving lead into his drinking water over a course of years. WAFC.

damn, what a wanker. at least she got there