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Can't speculate on the douche bit, but letting the buyer arrange a courier is risky business for a seller. For all they know, you could be a complete cunt who arranges collection, gets the item...and then opens a case saying you didn't receive the item and demand a refund. They then indeed don't have any proof that they sent it to you - they lose their money and their item.
What was the ad, cash on collection or did they state delivery options?
Found a stereo on ebay that I've been after for a couple of years - first one I've seen come up.
It's based in Middlesborough and I'm London. Seller will not post, and is being a total douche, he won't even box it for me to arrange a courier to collect.
Are there any couriers that will go and collect and box something for you too?? Failing that I may even look to get the train up, but I'm not sure I'll be able to carry it..