I hate

Food poisoning, been up since 2:30 am now 8am and it seams alk the food i have ever eaten in my life is trying to get out of my body quite violently. And i think its passed then another wave hits.

A twat I have to work with who is an argumentative cunt. He went off on one about a new contract we've been asked to look at and comment on. A couple of sentences got him riled up so I said "that one is perhaps superfluous and that one is ambiguous so it doesn't necessarily mean they want to take money from us". He went stratospheric for about 15 minutes and wouldn't see my point of you. It finally ended when he said "anyway what does ambiguous mean?"
"Google it you twat" Csb.

You missed a golden opportunity.

"What does ambiguous mean?"

"I'm not sure...."

Esprit de l'escalier and all that.

Sadly he is neither burdened with intelligence nor wit so it would have been like tears in rain.

Many years ago I managed to get a particularly dim fellow intern to fall into the plumb bob joke• whilst we were setting up a transit one afternoon. I have no regrets. Or shame.

•
"What's a plumb bob?"
"It a small puple fruit and stop calling me Bob."

Assessment Centers.

In short: I didn't get the job.

Wankers.

shit off.

People that vape and blow huge clouds of strawberry flavoured steam in public

People that vape

FTFY

Thats my MBP when my kids have been at it.

Anyway when some cunt uses the communal coffee scooping spoon to stir. Hard times

People starting statements with "So"

Or 'Look'

people starting statements with "izit"

The perennial 'at vuh end of vuh day...'

"I'm not gonna lie, ..."

No offence but...

Along the same lines: "To be honest..." / "To tell the truth..."

Were they lying the rest of the time?

"I'm sorry but..."

On a slight tangent, but related: I really hate it when people talk with every sentence going up at the end like a question? And sometimes? It's not even? At the end? Of? The sentence? But? All? The fucking? Time?

Yeah like this has just started to creep into everyday language hasn't it ?

Australian inflection?

Basically it's really annoying?

So annoying?