Rant

#Parcelforce

You owe me a PB tomorrow.

Fanx.

Nappy and nappy packaging - on a mid-village verge about 50 metres from a park with litter bins, dog waste bins, biffa bins, all the fucking bins. I propose pouring cold diarrhea down the throats of the breeders in question until they drown.

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Plasters carefully pasted on to the ground. I've seen it done before - lots of times. It seems to be 'a thing'. I'm afraid i'm proposing another summery execution - this time by a thousand cuts (with SPF50 rubbed in).

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Why is every tiny event these days called a "fest" or "festival"? A village pub puts 2 local singer/songwriters on under a gazebo in the beer garden and suddenly the Lamb pub in Brightwell has "Lambfest" or "Brightfest". I swear every village in this part of Oxfordshire has at least one, often two "festivals" every year. What ever happened to fairs and fetes?

People who have no idea where the mouse lived, let alone where the mouse went clip clipperty clop.

Tossers

What did he wear on his feet, pray tell?

I fucking hate barbecues. I'd rather cook and eat indoors. I don't want some cunting insect fornicating, crawling or defecating on my food and I fucking hate the British Standard barbecue sauce and I don't like sharing. Give me my food on a plate and I'll fuck off and eat it. I don't want to rub elbows with Aunty fucking Mabel over a fetid bowl of coleslaw I just want to eat and be done with it. Now cunt off.
I do apologise that litre and a half of Leffe Brune I just drank has made me a bit lairy.

Leffe makes me sleepy rather than ranty

I'm sleepy now.

Leffe Nectar. Get on it.

I've just been declined as a prospective seller on People Per Hour which I find astonishing.

Saw an interesting job and thought I'd apply (have spent 10s of thousands of pounds as a buyer on the service over the years). Paid for my application to be fast tracked. Hour later:

"After a close review by our team, we’ve determined that we cannot accept your application as it doesn’t meet our requirements. At PeoplePerHour, we pride ourselves on the quality of our freelance community and we approve only a few but great applications."

Presumably they're not talking about the hundreds of thousands of sellers in Hyderabad who charge 6p to do shite work? Fucking FUCKS. I'm mainly annoyed about the £5 fee to be fast-tracked.

One of their high quality sellers (retoucher who applied for a job recently):

fukin mission workshop pricing.... 700 dorraaahh for a fukin waterproof jacket that looks crappy????

The North Face: I bought a suitcase from them - one that fit's in an overhead locker on a plane.

It was at max 3 months outside their 2 year warranty, which I admitted up front and asked if I could pay to have the handle mechanism (telescopic) repaired. The only thing wrong with the case was that the handle locked in place and could not be telescoped for an indeterminate period, until suddenly it could again.

Their response was that I was welcome to buy a new one.

Fuck you, North Face - I shall never buy anything from you again, and will cheerfully share my opinion of you at the slightest opportunity.

Someone tried to mug me 2 weeks ago opposite my front door and tonight a gang tried to attack/mug me when I took the bins out tonight. Feeling unsafe in my own neighborhood is horrid. I'm moving soon, but not for a month, can't come soon enough.

fuck that is awful. can you move any sooner?

i got mugged years ago, and it left me jittery for months.

fuck that is awful. can you move any sooner?

Maybe a little sooner but not vastly, I'm waiting for a friend to move so I can have their old place.

i got mugged years ago, and it left me jittery for months.

First time was an attempted snatch and grab with some minor intimidation which left me a bit shaken up. But having to drop what I was carrying and run as the gang who'd followed me round a corner and pull up face masks has left me feeling really uncomfortable. Luckily I realised what was up and got the headstart on them but it was 10 Meters from my front door. To close for comfort.

Hopefully it didn't have any lasting effects for you.

Jesus. Sorry to hear this spatr. Was coming here to rant about work but seems a bit moot after this.

Sounds like a nightmare, which area are you in?

Upper Holloway, it's taken a bad turn in the last few months.
@CYOA rant away!

Nearby then. There are a number of gangs about, luckily I am friendly with the dealers so don't get hassled, but there have been a few moments.

'Sleeping rough' for charity. What? In your nice sleeping bag? Watched over by security guards? With your M&S salad and orange juice? And a battery pack for your smartphone?

HOW FUCKING BRAVE.

TV licensing letters!!
Why is the assumption that you must be breaking the law!?!

Really hoping Spotter’s incident isn’t related to his above posts

Seems not be be from what others have said