• I've redeemed myself on a Tripadvisor review. No children or educational motives but did use the phrase "bin fire" and "John Major grey" in response to a vile 'smoked hay' panacotta.

    This is how the long decent into the pervasive malaise of middle age starts, isn't it. Reading people talk Cuntish on the interwebz all day then going into the real world for a special celebratory meal at a supposedly nice restaurant to discover that all seven courses have been prepared by someone who thinks that all food should taste like an ashtray and that in contemporary society desert now tastes like the Holocaust.

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