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That's what's so unfair about situations like these-there's an emotional toll that far exceeds any physical damage and that's not unique to challenging life situations etc. although it can certainly amplify them x times over even if it's far removed from the event in question.
I understand how these things can play in the mind and what your saying about just wanting to be happy, disengaging as a coping/survival mechanism but I think not doing something to protect your own interests in not getting randomly victimised would also be destructive in terms of not asserting that self-worth legally, non?
I can see how your personal history regarding institutions failing you would make you feel defeated, family is the first institution we are exposed to after all so if they let you down then there's little faith in any others that come after. My family/personal history is undoubtedly very different to yours but still quite high up on the disfunctional scale, with the end result making me feel a strangely euphoric rage both in relation to people and institutions, informing my go-to anger/violence response but it's also exhausting and damaging so I also sympathise share your views up to a point. My father such as the biological status warrants the title-is a bonafide psychopath however so I suppose there's a nice genetic present for me in there, and as much as I've also gone Mad Max in my time but I suppose with experience of how fruitless/destructive this is I'm more coming around to your view point with age as mostly it's fucking pointless unless you're the Malcolm X in a million...
However, none of this prevents you having a miraculous recollection of a number plate and giving the police a door to knock on that might make them more attentive to the situation-it won't demand much time or energy and it'll be in their court to deal with afterwards.
If I really felt that hitting me was deliberate I would feel a moral responsibility that far outweighs any personal reluctance I might have or lack of faith in the Po-at least if you try you won't feel any guilt should this selfish cunt go on to seriously injure or kill some other poor two wheeled bumper fodder. Stick on James Brown and mull it over.
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There's a point in life when I realise I feel fairly defeated. Not having the privilege of a decent home, the violence and abuse of my youth, spending time on the streets, shoplifting to survive and have it impact all future travel (even today), living in a council estate that's constantly full of drama, just life stuff... but always having expectations lowered, a sense of worthlessness pervade.
I basically feel defeated when I come up against bureaucracy. I don't know the game, I fail at it. I hate it, it depresses me.
If I can, I disengage. I work out how to survive, for my own sanity, even if I face huge losses in the process.
This feeling is back again.
I'll go through the motions, but my heart isn't in it. There's anger, but there's also depression... and guess which one hits when I approach the police station, look online to see what the MIB claims process is.
I just want to heal, be happy. It would be nice to be able to believe that the Serotta is fine, it's rideable. It would be nice to think it could be replaced if not. But I'm not feeling hopeful, and I just want to heal, be happy.