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Scilly.Suffolk is quite right in his pragmatic view - you must just treat it as an exercise in getting the best result and tact is a useful tool.
You are not required to reimburse anything until you have the goods back and examined them. Then if you are at fault (item not as described) you have to pay both postages.
Customs is up to buyer to get refund from Customs people at his end.
The bike MUST be in the same condition you sent it out in. Now suppose it was damaged on the way to you or nothing was re-assembled to correct torques etc and you needed to get that professionally done then you can deduct that from repayment.
Final note is Paypal work for seller as well as buyer and they are VERY helpful. Call them and they will give you some good advice.
Good Luck
well , thanks for advice all,
buyer is leaving it up to eBay , I can't send postage labels to his country , bike is in bits , I never saw or felt any damage when packing , I accepted item return and return postage , not customs , and highlighted it's been broken up , cuntbuyer has damage the frame Imho