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Poetic
I'm not sure where eBay/PayPal stand on this: but if the charges weren't part of the original transaction, then I don't see how they can claw them back.
And if he doesn't return the item, then shirley he won't get a refund?
However, they do generally favour the buyer in a dispute and if I had a genuine reason to return something, I wouldn't expect to be out of pocket.
I'd try and negotiate a partial refund, perhaps offer to pay all the custom's charges.