This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Pretty certain I had a target on my back this morning. And also more certainter that people driving red people carriers are cunts. Specifically ones with Foose stickers on the back window. Now having spent a significant amount of time on the Discovery channel whilst waiting for the freeview babestation thing to start, I've watched a few programs with Chip Foose in, where he normally takes a shit American car and makes it shitterer. However I'm pretty certain that basin-haircutted Chip hasn't 'modified' a '53 plate Vauxhall Zafira and if he did, he'd fix the steering to ensure it didn't feel the need to swerve left into cyclists every time one was trying to fucking filter...

Whilst I've got my angry type on, whoever thought Tooley street in its current layout was a good idea needs a kick in the bracket. The poor bloke with the stop sign needs a medal, run over by cyclists, sworn at by peds...fuck his job...

Find rear tyre flat first thing so replace tube with "repaired" spare only to discover five miles out it's got a slowie.
Pull up to replace with shiny new out of the box tube to learn I'm toting a 12" tube for littlun's scooter (Doh!).
Luckily packing a spare spare! Shift down to remove back wheel and gear cable snaps (aargh!).
Replace tube, remove cable & outers then continue journey on remaining three gears until I get to steep, steep hill with traffic jam at bottom. Brake in good time to negotiate this (I think) but there's little purchase on wet, leafy & greasy road so not slowing much even with a foot on the floor at which point a car pulls out from left to join queuing traffic, blocking my route. Realise I'm going to slide into back of it so turn skid into a controlled "put down" broadie until rear wheel plants into facing kerb & my gentle slide comes to an abrupt stop.

No harm to self but discover rear wheel proper buckled (suspect it was force of my arse hitting saddle transmitted through frame to wheel which actually did the damage).

Limped home feeling like I was riding a circus bike.

You wait, i trundle, you wait, i trundle, you wait, i trundle; i get there, you pull out and insist on making an absolutely textbook manoeuvre so as to cut me off completely, despite there being no other vehicles nearby. Next time i might have conkers in my pocket to throw at you.

Shout out to the police officers that stopped in front of my minor rage i threw at some pleb who decided to swing into the bus lane right upto me and then back out of it as to over take the car in front going up Camden road. One of these dozy belms tried to tell me I wasn't helping myself by not being in high vis and then proceeded to stare at my handlebars (feared he had spotted brklss installation) then pointed at my light saying that's not doing much either is it (obvs turned off after pulling over). Cue 450 lezyne claimed lumens straight to his eyes and my departure as they tended to the turd in a smart car.

Very crisp in Belfast this morning, sunny but also cold with signature damp with it.

My toes are still warming up, brr.

Everybody seemed to be in a good mood though, peds/cyclists/motorists...

Nice morning ride to work this morning, air was crisp and the sun was out! Only ruined by the Planet X RJL douchebag on commercial road riding like a complete tool!

8/10

first proper commute since "the accident" really enjoyed the ride, although lots of wet leaves as well as tradesmen parked along CS2 worried me a bit in places.

felt amazing to emerge from a pretty dank bishopsgate into the sunshine and the shard shining back at me as I crossed london bridge. only thing to go wrong was snapping a strap on my clippy shoes.

Pumped my tyres up from 20psi to 60. Sailed in. Always good to check these things, it turns out.

Took the train this morning, sudden onset of feeling super weird/nearly passed out between Macclesfield and Stockport. Fucking trains.

I know that feeling - the first ride back on the right pressures is amazing

New commute along the Limehouse Cut/3 Mills from Whitechapel to Stratford is awesome... so nice to be able to cycle along an empty towpath without constantly being stuck behind/annoying to pedestrians (why I never commuted along Regents Canal).

Slightly paranoid about falling in when it gets icy though.

Check the washing that's supposed to be dry this morning to find my Gabba still soaking wet, so clobber together all the other layers that I own to take its place. Might been to get another LS jersey for this winter #buyer

cold/sweaty hard work this morning. 6/10.

30 seconds into ride and get a thumbtack. Turn around home, have no spare inners and tube it in.

Eurgh.

Agro pass from plonker.

Catch a couple of lights down the road and pull in front of the car in front of his and take my sweet-ass time making the right turn. He gets stuck at the lights.

I'd initially thought about catching him up, tapping on the car and then spitting on the back window, just to see which won - his desire to get somewhere really quickly or his rage at me spitting on his motor but know he'd have to climb out and come to the back of the car to do something about it? Would it be like a cat with buttered toast stuck to its back? He'd just spin around in the driver's seat until his head exploded? Anyway, it was just a thought, the ol' lightchangedelayeatmyshit technique filled me with enough joy.

Funny one for me this morning on the A10/Bishopsgate.

I'm in my flow, the commute's been going great, and it's super sunny and just chilly enough. Loads of peds in the area because you see it's next to Liverpool St. Red light, I set off when everybody's done crossing - however before the light turns green.

Next set of lights I see two London Cycling Brigade high-vis folks on the other side of the road and I think to myself "good, they didn't see the previous lights I hope."

But then one of these high-vis jackets stops next to me. Shite.
"Good morning," says the man. I do as if I didn't hear him, but he moves his hand in front of me. Until I realise it's actually a colleague and I won't get a ticket. :ok-hand:

joy.

Close pass by bus, actually grazed my jacket, shouted alot at smarmy prick. Reported to TFL.

Prick. Ain't my week.

If he made contact wouldn't you report it to the police as a hit and run?

At least that way they'll get penalised a whole morning of filling out forms. Punitive paperwork.

Maybe, I'm fine with reporting it on this occasion. If it was worse I would be straight to the police. Although he was a prick, after I had finished shouting at him he did apologise.

Some total nutters driving around peckham.

cold/10

threw in the towel and rode on teh pavement all the way from gallery road, past Dulwich College and onwards. Fuck sharing a road with cunts that don't care whether you live or die.

cancer on them all.

cancer on them all.

I wish cancer on cunt motorists all the, I glad it's not just me.

Rode through a big pile of leaves and did a big skid. Carried half a tree home in my drive train worthit/10

So much this^. I'm sick of the lack of facilities. When roads get ugly, I ride where there should be a seg path if foot traffic/path width allows.

Thick gloves and winter jacket are out.