This morning's commute and other commuting stories

my mistake this morning, almost crashed into a taxi, we had rain and the roads are greasy - could not stop in time, skidzzy ,

was a full 11 degrees warmer than yesterday, and 30kph windier!!!!!!!! think i prefer cold + no wind ;)

On the Commercial Road this morning, my attention was drawn to a small white van that seemed to be behaving 'erratically'.

When I drew level, the cause became clear. It was being driven by a woman who was fully engrossed in the novel she was reading!

The van was logo'd merebrook consulting.

Quickest commute so far - well pleased, however 3 lots of accidents today 2 cyclists -left hooked and motorcyclists - not sure

I have a confession to make, which is that I wheel-hugged someone one the way home yesterday. However they tried to accelerate away from me, no realising that the strong headwind and their rather large cross-sectional area meant that this would be extremely challenging and cause them to huff and puff while frequently shoulder checking in a fairly amusing manner.

About 5 years ago, some prick tried to wheel suck me on Embankment, in heavy traffic. I asked him not to and he told me to fuck off.

I braked heavily and he hit my back wheel and fell off. I left him shouting at me from the ground.

If you can see someone is bothered by you doing the same, leave off. It may make them make strange or hurried decisions or distract them to the point of making a mistake.

First commutes with the racing bike. Greatly confused by the cleat pedals, the bloody free wheel, and the brakes the wrong way round. Scary being in London traffic with so little confidence!

Fucking hell what kind of arsehole wheel sucks someone, and then when they ask them to stop, actually tell them to fuck off?!? Fuck me that's a whole new level of arseshittery.

I hope he broke his wheel when he crashed. Or his face. Or brain.

Pretty shitty behaviour imho.

Cycled my old commute this morning, haven't done it in years. Quite nice to blast along a main road for 20 miles on the road bike but did notice the pollution and smells a lot more than my more rural routes. Got overtaken by the bus early on and then re-took position on the outskirts of town, beating it to the centre.

Smug/10

I'm not sure there was much brain to damage to be honest.

some cyclist on the CS1 this morning tailgating a car like wayy too close. Fella was positioned on the far right corner of the car. Couldnt stand being behind imo.
You know you got that sixth sense knowing whats gonna happen: Car indicates right as a right turn comes near
Cyclist brakes massively and avoided the crash from an inch. Thing is, he goes ballistic on the swearing to the car driver. Eventually overtakes him, preventing him from turning right

I mean what a donut...

A few years back I had some guy at stockwell threaten/verbal assault me when I told him to stop drafting me. So resolved to do the skid or inexplicable slowdown thing. Another one to try: I just suddenly move to super-primary from secondary without any real point (traffic permitting) just to make the point ... if you aint overtaking me, I'm gonna ride wide now.

Realising my experience on Embankment wasn't a one off!

Had a chap about a foot away from my rear wheel, and motioned to him to come around, and wouldn't. Grabbed a handful of brake for half a second as a warning and the guy came around and told me I'd cause an accident doing that, and he was plenty far enough away...

...Far enough a way that a fake emergency brake was dangerous?!?! Jog on>>>>

If you get drafted and you don't like it drop them obvs.

or Kidney punch.

Obviously.

But if you're on here you're probably shit slow, so one of 'my friend's' favourite techniques is to keep pedaling but apply less and less pressure slowing down until they get frustrated and pass. My friend will also fake stuff like being lost or looking at something 'over there' or a mechanical in order to glance at pedals or something.

The crush them.

Or, another one is to move over into the other lane and draft a passing car.

Or, you can get to the next set of lights and just don't move. Pretend to fuck something up and take off slowly. I, I mean, my friend will also do this to arsehole drivers that have messed with him earlier. The 'go slow' is a successful FUCK YOU tool.

If you know the roads, taking a single block detour is another option. I'd get lost though so don't do this.

Taking cheeky lane choices and losing them in traffic is fun. It's always harder to be the following bike if the gaps are small.

I have manflu so my time on this earth is not much longer. I must get this knowledge out there...

I didn't bother watching the new Walking dead episode the other night as I get my fill of zombies when they exit London Bridge station and stride out in front of you on Tooley St. Be nice if they finished Tower bridge early so I can get back to being pushed into the railings by builders vans...

keep pedaling but apply less and less pressure slowing down until they get frustrated and pass.

I have literally come to a standstill doing this.

As did the wheelsucker.

And least he had the decency to look sheepish as I stood there looking at him.

^ Then the KidneyPunch™