Katie Hopkins

Trump for PM!

Weird boner.

I hope she forgets to buy whipping cream for her dinner party and has to go to the corner shop where they only have elmlea, which makes her pavlova a bit disappointing.

Oooh that is evil.

I hope all her culinary masterpieces are forever plagued by ill-fortune. I hope it's not just her pavlova that causes her a palaver.

I hope she orders some backlava for her Turkish themed party but gets delivered a crate of balaclavas instead.

And she tries to make light of it by getting everyone to wear one but someone spots them through the window and they all get arrested.

Would.

I hope someone gives the serpent a dirty sanchez whilst she's having a power nap

I hope she knocks over her bedside glass of water at night.

i hope she got up half asleep, forgot her slippers, headed to the bathroom to clean up knocked glass of water, only to discover by foot her dog's done a number 2 in the hallway, and ended up walking it into her newly bought white fur rug.

I hope she curls out a massive, unflushable stool that tests her plumbing system to heartbreaking destruction.

I hope she treads on an upturned three pin plug and whilst hopping up and down gripping her excruciatingly painful foot she treads on a Lego brick.
With dog poo on it for you hardcore Hopkins haters. Both of them.

lego bricks were always more painful than stickle bricks from memory, but yes

I hope she buys a second hand childs buggy from Gumtree, but on receipt of delivery finds it has arrived with no instructions for use. Then, whilst nearly passing out from the exhaustion of trying for over two hours to work out how the fold/unfold mechanism activates, she accidently activates the spring QR and the buggy flings itself open, and the front wheel hoofs her in the slats.

lego bricks were always more painful

I prefer the idea of common English bricks (imperial)

Old, established and capable of doing damage when hurled.

Burn the witch and hurl baked clay at her also!

I hope she decides that her bile and venom is due to a deep rooted inner turmoil, and goes through a complete gender reassignment to resolve the issue
when it's all done hope the individual realises they are still full of bile and poison , and it wasn't a gender I.d issues after all

I hope she finds out her family migrated to the UK from Syria, moving into London via the sewer tunnels, hence making her an illegal immigrant!

in the slats.

Not heard that Pusseudonym before

If you highlight then right-click on the word "slats" in Microsoft Word then click on Synonyms, the first choice you get is "Katies" and the second is "Hopkins". Who knew?

Same with 'vag-de-mort'
I think its a Harold Potter reference

I hope she wakes up this morning with epic hangover, to discover that the newspaper she writes for will go bust following libel case for false reporting about Mrs Melania Trump with:-
a) poor (let's face it) journalism
b) damaging Mr Trump presidential credentialisms
c) sensationalism
d) speculationism

I hope she goes to the jungle and gets tear-gassed and oh.....

I hope she sends a needy ex-boyfreind a blank text message from her pocket that makes him think she wants to get back together.

I hope she orders something from Amazon Prime to her office on a Thursday but it arrives after she leaves on Friday.

I hope she gets to meet Donald Trump and even he won't grab her clunge.