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  • I hope that after returning from a diagnosis of a weakened pelvic floor she books a skiing holiday in Alpe d'Huez, and that on her first day there she doesn't notice that the seam of her ski pants has let go in the groin as she mounts the aluminium chairlift to the slope, but feels a chill halfway up the ride, has a sneeze, allowing a small amount of urine out causing her labia to freeze weld itself to the chairlift just as she is about to disembark, causing her to be dragged upside down, flailing wildly like a eighty year old nudists scrotum in a strong wind, the entire ride back down the slope to be greeted at the bottom by a Warren Miller and crew recording for his latest film

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