Any question answered...

@Heldring - thanks for the suggestion - it looks as though Chrome OS won't play nicely with the (mostly work related) software I'm stuck with.

I'd be tempted to go with a second hand thinkpad from one of the places that does resale of ex-corporate laptops. Main issue can be that the batteries don't last as long (my thinkpad gives me a couple of hours, my chromebook gives me 10 hours) as they are used and the previous generation of processors were a bit more power-hungry.

On the other hand you tend to get a fairly powerful laptop for a decent price. This kind of thing:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CHEAP-Lenovo-Thinkpad-X220-Laptop-Fast-Core-i5-2-5Ghz-4Gb-320Gb-Warranty-Webcam/301848572266?_trksid=p2045573.c100506.m3226&_trkparms=aid%3D555014%26algo%3DPL.DEFAULT%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20151005190705%26meid%3D0a32b0a14c7c4787a72ed2c140158046%26pid%3D100506%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D1%26

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/CHEAP-Lenovo-Thinkpad-X230-Laptop-i5-2-60GHz-3rd-Gen-Warranty-Windows-7-Webcam-/322036489063?var=&hash=item4afadedb67:m:mMMd96x5pJOlhagsrywzC2A

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/POWERFUL-Lenovo-Thinkpad-T430-Windows-7-Laptop-i5-3rd-Gen-2-6Ghz-8Gb-240Gb-SSD-/301725349515?hash=item46403b768b:g:~5gAAOSwd0BV4Etq

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lenovo-Thinkpad-X230-Core-i5-3320-12-5-3-3GHz-240Gb-SSD-8Gb-Win-7-Pro-/231937479577?var=&hash=item36008d1399:m:mpNBz72Iqvw-XabeVd3qDXQ

^ all Lenovo - my e-bay searches also turned up mostly Lenovo ... coincidence ?

A lot of businesses use them. They're fairly hard-wearing (although not particularly good looking) so I guess a lot end up with the corporate laptop sales companies. There are normally a lot of Dells knocking around as well.

ok thanks. I might have to negotiate with Mrs. E before buying reconditioned: some of the crap collectable items sold to fund the next machine were hers.

Can confirm, thinkpads are excellent.
@dom is a convert to them and @Velocio has been using them for years.

I love mine. Dropped it the other day, and it remains fine :)

My current work one is an X250, whilst my colleague who loves his has a T460s.

My home machine is an X220.

All of these are workhorses, all great.

Battery life isn't as great as a Mac, but keyboard is better, screen is better, durability is better (mine will ride home in a pannier this evening).

They're just great.

What's the trackpad like? One thing I'm always cautious about with non-macs

HA! trackpad! as thing of the past my friend! behold the true glory of the IBM nipple!

Thanks all.
Follow up question: other than scatological, what is a good line of argument that will lead Mrs. E to want a laptop for her birthday rather than a dachshund?

For £300 you'll get something perfectly usable, this for instance http://www.pcworld.co.uk/gbuk/computing/laptops/laptops/lenovo-g50-15-6-laptop-silver-10137557-pdt.html which will probably have better battery life and look nicer.

It won't be as powerful though and probably won't feel as sturdy as a reconditioned expensive laptop.

Depends what you value, obviously getting something new is nice.

That nipple is bloody crap though (except the X220 has a trackpad and nipple so I have the nipple set up as a scrollwheel).

The wifi reception on dashunds is awful, its the subby legs, they can't get a full sized aerial in.

the nipple never felt quite right - do I just need a bit longer to adjust to stroking a furry red trackpoint?

Bike racks for cars. Can anyone recommend me one that is quick and easy to fit and remove? Only really need it occasionally so I want to be able to get it on with the minimum of fuss when needed.

I never had an issue, i like mine to be as sensative as possible ;)

Do you have a towbar? Our Thule euro classic has been great.

@eyebrows sold one of those Seasucker racks a few weeks back (I was interested, but wallet said no). They look pretty good.

ooh err

black electrical tape for doing bar tape

Don't use adhesive backed PVC electrical tape, use self amalgamating silicone tape, it's much better. Screwfix at Kings X is probably the closest place for pick up

Should you drink beer after having taken ibuprofen? (Not loads, just a few pints)

Saris Bones would be my choice. Really easy to fit, tough and secure.

1+ on the Bones, the amount of adjustability is a great bonus on top.

Will it be a good driving beer like Stella? You might have a bit of indigestion but a good quality doner with all the trimmings should settle that down nicely.

You'll be fine depending on the dose you've taken

#inb4internalbleeding

Who can I ask to design and print me some stickers with a specific font (that I have)?