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Drakien-
Yeah why the fuck not. Go for it. It'll definitely work, my bad.
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No, that'll tear too easily. Double wrap an old inner tube round it then fill any gaps with a sand and sugar solution made with broccoli juice.
Curved bolts can straighten and come loose over time so you'll need to check it on a regular basis, every couple of miles for the first year or until you die, whichever is sooner.
PhilDAS
Ramsaye
The curve of the clamp area won't match the wider circumference of the bars, I'm not sure if you're being serious. Curved bolt? How does that turn to tighten?