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You bollox.
The DD is always to be ridden fixed, pissed and slowly.
You should always agree to ride back after having just one more beer in the pub at the end. Unfortunately the people riding back sober don't like waiting for me to have just one more beer so I end up on the last coach off the beach.
Allow me to translate @Ramsaye for you:
Riding = Driving
Fixed = Geared cross bike
Back = Not leaving Essex
@Rod_Munch = Someone not actually doing the DD
@radmich = ???