Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Nice one - you'll have to come by once we've moved in.

You should still be able to direct grow a few things in May; spinach, spring onion, beetroot, cabbage and broccoli, though broccoli hardly seems worth the effort.

Cheers, dude. You'll need to come by as well - we're going to be near you.

We've had a bumper crop of purple sprouting broccoli the last few weeks.

Us too.

purple sprouting envy. seems like a lot of plant for the few measly heads we got.

yeah, i won't bother this year, as we don't have the room. i think the weird weather meant patience was required this year - not something i have in spades...

Aldi veg. plug plants? More expensive than seeds but at least you'll know they've all come up and been given a start while you're still trying to fit your world into cardboard boxes.
Try to get them as soon as they arrive in store - apparently they're not watered after delivery for safety reasons.
I'll probably have to start again after the last few days of frost wind hail and snow...

Is anyone on here grown up enough to own a hedge trimmer that I could borrow? Preferably in East London.

yeay. slug population explosion. what is the point of slugs?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-36166774

Protip with chard - people treat it like an annual but it's actually a biennial. if you leave one to continue growing, it'll get to about 7 feet tall and flower the next year. You can still pick leaves off it at this time - they're a bit more bitter but I love them in bakes and things. The advantage is, you don't need to plant any the next year as it will seed like crazy, and little chards will spring up so densely that they actually help suppress weeds. Then any areas that I want to clear I can just hoe over. The added bonus is when you want to get rid of the Mama chard, you get to re-enact Jack and the Beanstalk...

We had an epic fail the first time we tried purple sprouting. No idea why exactly. This year it seems endless - the more we pick, the more it comes. The plants are like a condo complex for snails, though. They're all clustered at the base of the big, leathery leaves, where no thrush will ever get to them.

I think the advantage is that the harvest is this time of year. Otherwise it can be a bit thankless. If you have one or two things you can pick now, it's a bit more motivating.

My borough's library service (Lambeth) has a deal with Zinio to give me free access to digital copies of magazines, including Gardener's World. I've never read it before, but it is really useful and free.

There's quite a few other good mags on offer too, including New Scientist.

Shit me, that looks like a London wide thing. Joining local library for some free magazine action.

Indeed. It's great.

Great tip re. chard. I left about 6 of last year's plants in over winter and, despite being savaged by some as yet unspotted pest (probably slugs), it is coming back strong. I shall not sell the cow to that dodgy-looking legume salesman just yet!

Half of our "lawn" has been pretty much just soil since we moved in 6 months ago. This is due to there being a tree blocking loads of light on that side (from what I can tell). Any recommendations for types of grass that are less fussy?

Plastic, comes highly recommended by the forum.

I should note, the side of the garden that is bare technically isn't ours... That said, we're the only ones using it so I'd rather make it look pretty. Putting Astroturf down would probably rattle some cages...

Half of our "lawn" has been pretty much just soil

Bite the bullet. Get rid of the grass and have a woodland garden.

Plant bulbs for the spring then when the tree is in full leaf, wallow in the cool shade when everywhere else is sweltering.

Get a seating area near to the house, bit of decking or some slabs... Bob doth claim you as his own nephew.

Was thinking of putting one of those school PE benches (like below but maybe more carefully positioned) outside the kitchen... Barbecue is inbound.

At the moment, the garden is very much just a Jiu Jitsu dojo for our cat and somewhere to hang washing.

Was thinking of

we all know this is code for do fuck all

just look after the tre you bastard

Plastic, comes highly recommended by the forum.

Especially by the Football thread.

Clover - have a google at the diff types you can use but it is pretty fantastic ground cover, it's drought resistant and happy in the shade. It doesn't need mowing and will spread at a decent speed. It flowers and it is soft underfoot. There is a long established hangup with clover and lawn grass mixing - something I've never really understood - but if you get the micro-clover varieties it is barely distinguishable from grass.

Newty McNewtface

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