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@stedlocks
I hope she goes to a friend's mother's surprise 70th birthday party in a less than salubrious local football club, puts her best bit of tweed/selvedge/brogue combo on, strolls in, notices there is no one there that she knows and that it looks like backstage of the Jeremy Kyle show, turns on her blakey'd heel, and fucks off out again, realising slowly that she is, in fact, a week early.