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  • 'Ha - I was deliberately being a dick to make you act like a dick'

    'I'm really saying these things cos I want you to hate me. I'm just a guy who doesn't give a single fuck - impressed?'

    'This is all just banter, innit? We're all mates, really, aren't we? Aren't we?'

    It's like being on an internet chatroom in 199fucking6.

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