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TTM
You work very hard and are a good dad / husband.
I do not work very hard and am single.
And @Smallfurry that perfectly describes my 'races' (*sportives).
Or: first climb, leaders put in a big dig and drop me. Chug up the mountain at my own reasonable pace and cut the gap a tiny bit. Descend into valley maybe getting near the leaders after the climb.
The leaders get together in the valley and I'm not yet fully caught up.
Chug along valley on me todd while they vanish up the road in a nice group til the next climb.
etc etc.
Sliding down the positioning as the day goes on. Good times.