Katie Hopkins

^^ on a related note I hope she goes to clear her aeropress into the bin but misses and ejects the grounds all over the white wall behind the bin, that she just spent an afternoon painting

Ha! Le rep.

I do this every morning.

I hope she looks out the window and sees a nice day, puts her last pair of contacts in to wear her sunnies, goes out side and it's now pissing it down.

I've done that (apart from the painting bit) it was a total mother fuck.

What a great thread. So much lols.

Katie Hopkins; it turns out that you didn't survive brain surgery for nothing.

Good to see this is still going strong guys... glad to know I'm not the only one here who hates her

I hope she has to get new keys cut, but they keys don't quite fit, so every time she tries to open the doors it involves farting about. Sometimes it works in one go, and sometimes it doesn't and she can't quite figure out why.

I hope she wins a luxury holiday to St Lucia, gets invited to a reception for winners only to sit in a crowded room for 6 hours being exposed to aggressive timeshare apartment selling then realise that the prize does not include flights, transfers or excursions, all of which are be sold in the same room while bright sunny Sunday is being lost.

I hope she goes on a perfectly nice holiday in Spain but when she gets back home she receives an email from the car hire company that there was damage to the vehicle even though she definitely checked it and there was no new marks to the vehicle and so has to write tens of emails to the company to clear up the excess fee, as well as ringing the helpline multiple times from her mobile which and anyway she is only able to negotiate the damage down a few hundred pounds and it just really sours her memory of the trip.

I hope she gets 9 point fuckin 3 on the Aviva drive app*, only upon clicking 'Get quote' she receives a quote even more outrageously high than the current cost of her insurance.
*Having driven her family around for 200+ miles while the sun shone, wishing to be out on ones bike!

I hope she joins LFGSS and asks for advice on brakes, tyres, frames, clothing, and where to hang out.

She'd be a top poster on the Xenophobia...Nice but a bit pricey? thread

I hope she has to move house packs everything up only to realise she packed all her shoes and they are in the bottom box of the stack.

I hope she goes for an important interview, drives straight into a car space someone has patiently waited for, after exchange of looks, tells them to f@ck off, walks away, locks car behind her with epic smug face..

moments later discover that 'someone' is the interviewer..

I hope she fails to get that little fragment of egg shell out of her omelette mix.

I hope she sets 'David Cameron - My Life, My Britain' to record on Sky. But accidentally records Bangkok Ladyboys instead.

I hope the water pressure in her bathroom is a bit temperamental and every time her landlord comes round to check it out, it's absolutely fine.

I hope that she sets the Roomba off around the living room before going to work, only to return 8 hrs later to find that the cat had curled one out under the sofa and that her hoovering robot had spread catshit in Jackson Pollock-like patterns all over her cream-coloured carpet.

^ in the same vein...
I truly wish that her cute little white dog hasn't got used to the clock change, and has a slightly out of kilter poo clock, thus depositing a slightly moist dog egg right at the bottom of the stairs. Exactly where her Un-slippered foot lands. In the semi dark. Whilst she has a cold.

I hope her oystercard doesn't tap through causing everyone to tut that she has failed to top up, and after three or four tries the self doubt creeps in so she goes and queues for the machine but in fact she has plenty of credit it was down to a spurious card reader error.

I hope that she cuts one of her nails just a bit too short, so its niggly painful for a day.

I hope she forgets to swipe in using Apple Pay to go two stops on the overground in zone 3 because there were no barriers at the station she got on at and she was distracted by a podcast about bow-hunting and is charged £10.70.

I hope she has her laptop volume set to full and inadvertently opens a web page with an audio component during a business meeting.

glad this is still going..

I hope she cycles to work, gets changed, gets to her desk, goes to change into her shoes, but realises they aren't there because she didn't cycle in yesterday and went home wearing them after a work night out. It's a new job so she doesn't know everyone very well, and the attire is very formal; she feels a bit silly. She has a day full of important meetings, and is forced to attend them wearing a pair of.....skechers.