Katie Hopkins

I hope she starts buttoning up her dress with the second button in the first button hole and only realises when she gets to the top.

I hope that she has to carry several things from one end of her house to the other, but there's one too many items for her to pick up at once. As a result she spends at least a minute trying to pick everything up at once and every time she picks up the last item it pushes a different one out of her sweaty grasp onto the floor. Finally she gives up and makes two trips and in that extra time a pot of potatoes on her stove boils over.

I hope you asked them if he was merciless?

And then does the same with the duvet cover...

Are you 'avin a giggle m8?

wouldn't dare.

I hope she's still patiently waiting for Jay Electronica to release an album.

I hope she can't connect to her wifi

That was way harsh Tai

I hope that mid-call, the scribbled contact she's looking for is on a scrap of paper under a post card on the side of the fridge, and when she tries to edge the card round one-handed, the fridge magnet holding them loses strength and drops and falls behind the wine rack so she then tries to squeeze the postcard behind another one only this time the combined thickness is greater than the magnet can hold and the pair of cards slides down knocking off the other assorted cards below them until a whole vertical line of assorted fliers, invites and cards is in a cobwebby mess behind the wine rack.

I hope she orders a plain chow mein with no onions, but when it gets delivered it has onions in it

I hope she forgets her verified by visa password.

...and then remembers it just as the page expires.

I hope the DVLA pick up on her comments about her frequent seizures due to her epilepsy and revoke her driving license.

I hope she can’t unsubscribe from the Tesco Clubcard mailing list because she put in a fake postcode when she signed up, and now can’t remember what it is to access her online account.

I hope she gets out at bank at the wrong exit

I hope tonight she gets really comfy in bed then realises she needs a piss, gets back from the piss only to realise she left the bathroom light on.

I hope that she winds the cable of her Dyson DC40 Animal upright vacuum cleaner the wrong way round so that instead of going over the top hook and hanging down it is left pointing upwards. Then she discovers that the grey plastic cable clip that could have got her out of this sticky situation fell during the vacuuming and has been sucked up and is now clattering around in the bowels of the machine.

I hope she puts her bins out on the wrong day.

I hope she forgets her verified by visa password.>

you bastard!

I hope she's getting ready to cross a road, sees a car approaching and waits for it to pass, only to realise that it's going significantly slower than she'd thought. Upon realising that she had plenty of time to cross, I hope she simultaneously realises that she has now missed her opportunity.

I hope she stops for someone at a zebra crossing and actually, the person doesn't want to cross and is just sending a text.

I hope she has an heirloom of a Swiss Army Knife attached to her car keys as a memento of a much loved relative. I then hope she drives to Heathrow and discovers just too late that the security staff have disposed of her bladed forget-me-not during check-in.

I hope she stops for a big poo in a public toilet only to discover that apres dump the cubicle dispenser is fresh out of paper.

I hope she has to use one of her fancy monogrammed socks and a reporter from The Sun discovers it being sold on Gumtree for £1.