• Only if you've a doris noshing you at the same time. Possibly a long-term partner that knows the technique but you're a bit bored with looking at.

  • Preferably someone else's faeces or if that's not an option then some of your own.

  • I'd probably go for one of those exploding liquid centre steamed chocolate Gü deserts, but I understand a lot of folk on here are probably trying to keep to race-weight so I guess chocolate mousse could do as a poor-man's substitute.

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