When I die....

I do not want a religious ceremony that is irrelevant to my life.

What I think we all learned yesterday is that if you talk about something but don't document it formally in a way that lawyers might recognise, your wishes are just wishes.

And things you would never want to happen can and will happen because you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

There were some genuine human limitations in play, and at first I was carping about that, as well, but as I thought about it a little more, I simmered down and realised how irrelevant my view really was. Whatever happened was kindly meant and intended. I personally didn't find it apposite, either, but it was left to a person who did the best they could, out of what was undoubtedly a very sincere belief. I didn't know the deceased's attitude to these things, as for some strange reason it was a topic we never broached, but I'm pretty sure he would have recognised all of the above out of the kindness that was characteristic of him. Obviously, this doesn't apply to the design.