Errrrr, I think you're missing the point, you seem to be taking not being serious very seriously! Just let people do what they want to, don't give them badges or force them into strict categories. Above all, don't have a pop at other riders who don't fit perfectly into your ideal.
Don't worry, I will. You keep shaving them if you feel that's what you need to do if you ride half the distance he does at half the pace.