Best revenge against a bike thief?

Ugh, one fuck of a night last night.

Rode into downtown last night with just a simple cable lock for the sake of keeping my pack light. Parked my bike outside of a store and secured the cable lock leaving no slack between the post and my frame.

I came back out only to find my lock laying underneath the post. The cops didn't show up until 3 hours later, so in that 3 hours I walked around on foot through the busy parts of downtown showing other riders photos of my bike and to be on a look out. I then saw a dismantled mtb under a set of sketchy stairs that maybe 15-20 homeless tweakers young and old were sitting near. So I casually walked into that direction simply acting like a passer by. At last right next to the dismantled mtb is my bike.

I dodged some tweaker teens grabbed my handle bars and pulled it out from under the stair set and was locked onto my pedals in a second giving them the biggest middle finger salute as they are yelling that I got the bike back.

So atlas after 2 hours of being missing, I have my bike back. The took a razor blade to my frame and just ran down the entire frame so I have these god awful razor streaks across my frame and they also cut out the the logo on my pivotal seat as well as adjusting my seat and handle bars….

Im still pissed and I remember what these mother fuckers look like, I have a feeling they will be there tonight. I want to order a large coffee and dump it on their head. But any other creative ideas that keep me out of the eyes of the law are welcome.

If you think they'll be there again, and have proof that it was them that stole it, call the police?

Or throw a bag of your own shit at them, whatever you feel is more appropriate.

You need some anti theft paste.

PM @tynan

Murder.

The cops here, Seattle Washington US, take bike thievery as a non emergency crime. By the time I had recovered my bike and was at home three hours later I get a call from the police that they have arrived to the scene of the crime lol!

I don't want to wait another three hours for an officer to arrive and give this homeless tweaker a place to sleep tonight. I want to make his life hell. IE dumping water on him before another cold night sets in etc… Sorry LFGSS I'm in a evil mood right now looking at what used to be 'my' bike now hardly recognizable and ghetto as fuck.

I think you should report the location where you took the bike back.

Please do this to the Met cycle team, not just some bored desk sgt. They are on twitter, also have posted on here before. @OliverSchick on here from Hackney LCC may be able to give you more direct contact.

Please do report them!

This is what I'm thinking, how can I spread the word locally that if your bike has been stolen downtown, theres a 3/4 chance its being scalped by tweakers who hang out at the same place. Its right in the heart of downtown where all the bus lines meet. This is also in Seattle, WA USA. Should I tell a bike cop on duty when I go back tonight, they might have more regard for bike related crimes? But honestly the operator who called me three hours later seemed more relieved i didn't need their help anymore rather then I got my bike back.

Maybe I will donate my actual U lock as a new necklace to the tweaker tonight if he's asleep. I think it will be a good 0ld fashioned public shaming walking around with a u lock around your neck with the words, "I AM A BIKE THEIF" written around it.

Report it to the police and get over it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRJyJqx6WM0

Maybe I will donate my actual U lock as a new necklace to the tweaker tonight if he's asleep. I think it will be a good 0ld fashioned public shaming walking around with a u lock around your neck with the words, "I AM A BIKE THEIF" written around it.

Do this. U-lock justice done right.
And the chance that they end up killing themselves when trying to cut it off.

^^^ This. Never worth tussling with a desperate drug addict with nothing to lose. Consider yourself lucky not to have picked up any incurable diseases on your first encounter and get on with enjoying your meth-free life.

What's a tweaker?

What's a tweaker?

??

Flaming bag of dog shit is the way to go

Not sure if you're serious but what's suggested seems pretty harsh/dangerous.
Pouring water on them seems pretty bad considering the weather no?
And likewise the d lock.

Shit bag seems optimal though.

You and the tweaker are on the same side. What happened happened because the man is playing you off against each other. You are brothers.

That was rage getting the best of me, I decided to move my bike to the other room. Out of my sight for now… I think I'm going to go stealth on my other ride tonight and just see if they are around.

The culprits I presume, that were sitting closest to my stashed bike were a male and female teenage druggie type with facial piercings and bleached blonde hair. Should be easy to spot, might rally a good ol fashioned lynching if the conditions are right. A local bike store got hit about a month or two ago, so their is some tension with bike thieves amongst our community at the moment.

I am going to send an email to the closest possible law enforcement department of that area though with pictures of my bike after recovery and the actual area via google maps.

As you are in Seattle pouring coffee over them seems very appropriate.

This forum is about London's famous London, so famous we named it twice. I just assumed you're a septic with all your 'tweakers' and 'downtown' but one who lives here, so I posted a London- relevant response. Nope. You're here, talking about theives in Seattle WA....

Seriously?!?

Oh, and it's called a D-Lock. It's a D shape. Tell your friends.

Kill them all. All of them. Accept no quarter, show no mercy, grind them into dust. You are The Appointed One.

It's crap if somebody damages your bike. But if they're homeless and/or addicted, you're in a way better place right?

Even with a damaged bike ;)

It would be like that film. Him off The Great Escape but with a moustache.

Two options: Forget about it, or call the Equalizer. Anything else is fuckery.

Call Frasier.

Wasn't that directed by Ridley Scott with that Harrison Skywalker bloke in it?