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Isn't there an Apple thread for this? This is the PC Tech thread, "Proper Computer" (cue Apple vs. Windows PC debate). I abandoned my iPod 10 years ago. It has sat in a drawer unused for that time. iTunes at the time was a slow, bloated pile of shite. I've only seen it recently on my gf's machine and not used it - can't tell if it's fast or not but it seems to be running a lot of shit in the background. I have no idea what you're talking about in terms of consolidation - what's wrong with a folder named 'Music' and a tonne of mp3s in it? Ipods lack of folder structure sucks arse. If I'm playing music on my computer I'm at my computer so I have no need for my phone talking to it and no idea what software might allow you to do that. Sonos rings a bell but that might be all standalone speakers/controllers.
Go on then... indulge me. I know you've got nothing better to do. Since about version 9 it's a pain but for compatibility across devices it does the job of consolidating all the stuff I've uploaded over the years and sporadically download (without having to copy/convert/blah to separate cloud media libraries). I also like that I can control what I'm listening to on my computer from my phone. Would be interested in a nice looking alternative if you have suggestions?