This morning's commute and other commuting stories

I'd recommend the Bear Grylls method of pissing on one's own hands

Thawing locks (@b&d) and warming hands, is there anything you can't do with it?

or chris juul-jensen's...

https://rouleur.cc/journal/riders/chris-juul-jensen-blog-ice-cold-sanremo

So many people doing that this morning.

Yeah I use it like that too. I just find it funny when it's for blindingly obvious stuff. If a cyclist hasn't mastered skills like "don't ride into a double-decker bus" then they probably haven't learned chaingang signals.

Impressive. I make the same mistake every now and then, but have never done worse than a bit of embarrassing bobbing up and down. Hitting the deck is a good effort.

Interesting to hear they now have cars in Ely as well as running water.

Was riding along the South Circular through Dulwich behind a chap with no rear lights on his car. Pulled up next to him at lights, tap on the passenger window and motion for him to lower it. All smiley and happy, like.

He looked over, then quickly looked away and ignored me. His kid, sat in the front seat, stared at me like I was a simpleton.

He then drives off at pace only to get stuck in traffic about 50 metres up the road. This time, I go around to the driver's side, tap on the window and again motion for him to put the window down.

He lowered it about a centimetre and said 'What is your problem?!'.

At this point, I considered just riding off and leaving the rude twat to it, but thought it best to kill him with kindness, so I said, 'your rear lights aren't working - don't know if they're blown or if you've just not got them switched on, but thought I should let you know.' And then I rode off.

CSB etc.

Yeah, it was a bit odd. I think the deck-hitting was due to me having been standing on the pedals on a bike with very small wheels and twitchy handling.

Running water? What's that?

I apologise if anyone witnessed my rather colourful language directed towards a moped driver at the lights on Kentish Town Road earlier. I was supposed to be turning right at the junction at Camden underground station up towards Holloway. Looked over my shoulder despite being in the correct lane, saw him look at me, then he continued straight from the right turning lane, almost taking me out in the process. Took a detour to catch him up (shouldn't have done). He did not seem no care and make some snide comment about bicycles, at which point I reminded him that Mopeds are for 16 year olds. Think he wanted some afters as was gesturing at me but left him for dead in the traffic. 10cc toss pot.

^
#continentaldreamer

#skullyspaek4lyf

Think he wanted some afters as was gesturing at me

Hmm...?

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/afters

I'm hoping it was the first definition.

or positioning myself perpendicular to all the cyclists waiting behind me because I've managed rock myself round in a half circle (today's example from Atlantic Road).

Seems it can be done after all. N Line from E Finchley at 7.30 to Moorgate - no drama. Got a seat - coffee at Austin Friars at 8. Read my book. Early at my desk. And for once folks are not giving me a wide berth whilst screwing up their noses. This is novel.

I had the most middle class commute ever this morning. I got up early so decided to run to work across Grantchester Meadows (google it, it's a very middle class place to go). On the way I: Had a chat with another runner who was on her way to teach Pilates, I didn't get her name but it was probably Camilla. Got asked for directions by a Waitrose delivery driver. Found a dropped glove outside the local private school. A Boden glove. With the name Felix stitched into it.

#cambridge4lyf
#kpnitrl

This morning, my left SPD cleat worked itself loose and spun to point to the outside of my foot as I unclipped, effectively leaving me unable to clip back in when the light went green. Cue me having to stop, remove toasty gloves, take the shoe off (in the cold!) and re-seat the cleat.
...I guess that solves the mystery of where the creak/squeak was coming from yesterday!

London Oveground in rush hour. To make people move through into the aisle from the doors: introduce dedicated floor plates where you have to fill the carriage. If you leave a spare you get automatically electo-shocked until you move further into carriage.

Not this morning, but the day before yesterdays morning, a wonderful class of driver in their cheaply kitted Vauxhall Astra deciding that he would get as close as possible to my rear, then when I pull over to let the pillock win, decides to whip around in front of me and slam on his brakes. His passenger gleefully chortling away.

What are you even meant to do in this situation.

Rearrange their lights, wing mirrors and shit on their bonnet.

Highly highly tempting, the thought did pass my mind to try get a boot in the side of his door, but I'd rather get to my destination without a novelty tread mark. Just can't understand the mentality.

Get their plates?

It didn't occur to me, I was more concentrating on trying to avoid crashing into the back, the curb and avoiding any potential traffic to my right and back. I shall be investing in a helmet camera though. I'm hoping they live near me so I can grab the plate if I see them again.

I try and get plates because if the cunt has another go, making a point of telling them their number plate means they're suddenly no longer some anonymous chump and might be a bit less likely to carry on their attempted murder or assault or whatever. Helmet cams have been on my mind a while but they're too much ballache for the duration of my rides.

The beaten beast did me proud: Barcelona to Blanes, awesome mornings ride with near ideal conditions yesterday although might of been a death sentence for my bottom bracket!

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was riding down the cycling superhighway past shadwell last night when a car driver coming from a side street drove straight into me. Hit and run plain and simple. No obvious damage to the bike or myself hopefully. Quite glad a fellow cyclist got the plate number for me.

Always annoying when some car driver don't give a shit. Shall i report him? probably not worth the hassle is it

Always. Even though it's a ballache, it will count against them if they cause another incident.