A mouse in the house

Call your local authority and they will deal with it.

For a price that isn't worth paying if you can get traps yourself.

Reminds me of living in a squat in Tottenham one winter.
The place was overrun with mice.
One of us, Tom, bought home an Indian Rock Python that he bought from some bloke in the pub. He was told they eat mice.
The house was so cold the snake was sort of hibernating, but Tom didn't know much about snakes. A week later the bloke in the pub sold Tom a mouse to train it to eat. We had that mouse for years, it was called Mitzy.
Anyway another week went by, the mice were still all over the place, Mitzy had a little cage and some food and used to sit in our pockets for warmth. The snake hadn't moved a muscle.
Tom said the bloke in the pub said to warm the place up, but we had no gas only electric and we never really got the place warm enough despite trying.
Then Tom came back from the pub with the idea of putting the snake in a bath full of warm water to get it active. So we heated some water, and half filled the bath. We weren't too sure how warm, and it certainly wasn't too hot, and we put the snake in.
It just sank to the bottom. After a minute or so it lifted its head to the top so the nostrils were just clear, and it could breathe. After about ten minutes the water was cooling off, so Tom went and got a kettle of hot water and added that. Eventually it cooled a bit so Tom put more water in. This went on for quite a while. We left him to it.
Then Tom called us, the snake was becoming active! We all piled into the bathroom and looked at the still completely still snake.
Tom added some more hot water.
Then the snake became active, it thrashed around in the bath and we all shot out through the door and slammed it shut.
Tom went back in and the snake had vanished.
Somebody else went in to look for it and he found it coiled around the pipes below the sink. It was there for a few days and Tom eventually somehow removed it and took it away, I'm not sure where.
I think living with a bunch of people who refused to use the bathroom eventually forced him to do something about it.
I have no idea if we ever did solve the mouse problem.

That's the best thing I've heard all day. 5/7

Was just coming to say this thread needs Lucifer but ^^ that story was fantastic.
My Labrador when I was growing up was great at killing moles but crap at dispatching mice. Would corner them then sit and stare.

This is brilliant.

Any story that has anything to do with "a bloke in the pub" is generally funny.

Top story. I was about to post a mouse story, but won't bother now. Difficult to follow...

When I was a student I lived in a shared flat in Oval, mice were an intermittent problem, we had humane traps then eventually poison. One day I went to put on my trainers and couldn't quite get one of my feet in, something squishy was stopping my toes going all the way in.

Took my shoe off and out flopped a dead mouse, so much nope.

Not any more.

@Cazakstan that made me laugh and recoil in horror in equal measure.

I love this story.

I'm inclining towards the little nipper and peanut butter approach.

Excellent story 10/10 would read again

Nah, get a python!

Try it, you'll never look back (nor will any mouse caught in the trap).

Mouse at work, at work!

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Uh oh, it's gone after your Dorset Cereals. It's probably a middle class mouse.

Serves you right, Nigel, you posh cunt! 👌🍻

At least the mouse excrement will add a dash of flavour

#empathylfgssstyle

Don't use the cheap mouse traps (4 for a £1 in local shops) - I had those out for months and zero mice caught.

Upgraded to the Tool Station little nipper ones and caught a mouse within 1 hour of laying those traps (with cheese at the time). These traps caught a few mice over a few weeks.

Went for a while with no mice then they came back once again. The little nippers didn't seem to be catching them, so I further upgraded to these ones which look scary and do a remarkable job.

And this post has just reminded me to check the trap under the stairs, and there's a nice fat mouse in it. I'll wait for Mr CheeseWheel to come home to get rid of that then...

You could edit the box to say "genuinely mice things" for a mild chortle.

take off and nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!

etc

Mostly they come out at night....mostly.

There was apparently a mouse problem in our row of houses before we moved in. I never had our cats down as efficient mousers (they would bring in one or two a year) but either they're slyly murderous or enough of a deterrent as we haven't seen so much as a mouse turd.