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@Dammit
Get one of these and drill an axle sized hole in one of the clamps?
http://www.screwfix.com/p/irwin-quick-grip-12-mini-one-handed-bar-clamp/98247?kpid=98247&cm_mmc=Google-_-Product%20Listing%20Ads-_-Sales%20Tracking-_-sales%20tracking%20url&cm_mmc=Google-_-Shopping%20-%20Hand%20Tools-_-Shopping%20-%20Hand%20Tools&gclid=CMr1us_ZjcoCFcvpwgodKZgM0w