Fucking terrible gifts for cyclists

I have had all the books. Best cycling gift was Rapha vouchers, worst a high viz reflective sash belt from my Mum.

There's functional and then there's this abomination.

Glasses mounted FT(funtional)W.

A lot of the books about pro riders are great, and really help you understand road cycling better - if that's something you want to get under the skin of.

One of the most enjoyable books I've read has nothing to do with racing, but everything to do with the simple joy of riding your bike and exploring.
Synopsis of the book is here: http://www.theguardian.com/travel/2009/nov/08/mike-carter-britain-cycling
It's called One Man and his Bike, by Mike Carter. It's lovely.

is that for making big bubbles as you ride along?

Good thread. Stuff is rubbish. Especially the stuff my family gives me at Christmas. Being into guitars is almost as bad as being a cyclist for attracting shit presents. Last year my christmas present from my mum was a small carved wooden bowl about the size a teacup (no, me neither) and a cheap wallet with colourful electric guitars stitched on it. *despair

Try being a bassist whose Mum doesn't really understand the difference between a bass and a guitar. Lots of guitar socks, guitar T-shirts and so forth. Made things a bit easier once I started playing upright as well, but just ask for cash or specific bike stuff these days.

Julian Sayerer's LifeCycles is a really good read - a different take on a really impressive world record achievement...I will say no more.......

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Cycles-Courier-Decided-Record/dp/1782199039

A seat cover for when I park my bike in my girlfriend's place.................

Didn't see it mentioned upthread, so apologies if it was - but Tim Krabbé's The Rider is absolutely the best cycling book.

i have one of them. Given to me last Xmas

I believe this years cycling gift is a Bigtop saddle roll, but then I was asked what I'd like from secret santa. Rob Penns books are good reading, trees, bikes, take yer pick.

http://reporting.cyclesurgery.com/cgi-bin/view?a+8818-2+50020+34262+Bg%3D77K%3D4H%3D4Q%3DlliSH_lW%24KTP4_W+30785

Epic shit gifts mail out from cycle surgery...

Reflective trouser clips that were less than 1cm wide

Why

A cycling based version of "Magic the Reckoning"

I got asked what I'd like and replied with:

"Restrap vouchers please..."

Bicycle shaped pasta. REALLY?!!!

don't tell my grandma...

Serve it to @greenhell on a square plate and he won't be able to play velodrome with his food.

Needs:

People are lazy: like bikes, get bike stuff; like guitars, get guitar stuff etc etc.

I've let it be known that I'm into coke & hookers.

Fingers crossed...

I've let it be known that I really like vouchers.

Family (after several years of this) is finally almost coming round to the idea. Almost.

I've let it be known that I really like vouchers.

Bugger, I really should listen more...

Family know I'm into my beers. Have asked for specific vouchers from a website that sells some decent stuff so I don't end up with loads of Fosters/Stella glass gift packs.

They cottoned on to the fact that I like a bit of gin last year. Got quite a few of those Gordon's mini gin and glass gift packs.

I've let it be known that i don't want any presents and that i'm only giving them to my many nieces and nephews. I think it's gone down like a bucket of cold sick.

I've got 18 nieces and nephews. I only buy for them and I've managed to whittle some of them out as they are now adults or have moved away and I don't see them. It's ridiculously expensive as it is without including adults.