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The fat slimy cunt.
You can have 2/3 - he's not been a chubster since the mid 90s:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Nigel-Lawson-Diet-Book/dp/071814175X
Hefty
sausagefingers
He would know,having spent most of his life working as a barrage balloon.
The fat slimy cunt.