Football

Make sure everyone sees you eating prawns on Wednesday lunchtime - say you got them in the "reduced" section...

Feign "the dribblies" on Thursday.

Job done.

NEXT!

Gent v Wolfsburg
Roma v Real Madrid
PSG v Chelsea
Arsenal v Barcelona
Juventus v Bayern
PSV v Atletico
Benfica v Zenit
Dynamo Kiev v Man City

I think the point is more to remind the players who they are actually playing for (as damo does actually say). It's easy to take a bollocking off the boss but when have fucked up but there are few things more sobering than having to face a justifiably pissed off customer.

Is there any way the FA can reschedule Villa's remaining games so they can all be played by Christmas? It seems like the most humane thing to do, no point in prolonging the misery.

So that's a goodbye from Chelsea and a goodbye from Arsenal...

Ooof, not the ideal draw but we've beat them before and we can beat them again, so long as the ref doesn't find some spurious reason to send off our best player again.

It's a conspiracy.

Ooof, not the ideal draw

Understatement of the year.

Aren't they 17 points ahead of the rest over in France?

We'll be fine... #fml

Gent v Wolfsburg is clear proof that there is no conspiracy, they ain't gonna recoup the cost of tv rights for that one

Gent v Wolfsburg is clear proof that there is no conspiracy, they ain't gonna recoup the cost of tv rights for that one

But it'll give Barca a rest in the next round.

We've still got the Derby record to play for - I think that's the only one we haven't broken recently...

Kroenke needs to up his brown envelope game.

You have to order the most expensive things on the menu and drink the most alcohol

LOL poor Arsenal and Chelsea.
At least the dross get booted out nice and early

How's that Liverpool title bid coming along?

I work in public health, I can no longer feign "the dicky tummy" anymore.

Thursday night warriors on the rampage...

Fucking page refresh.

Imagine, if you would just for a moment, Spurs, Arsenal, Chelsea, and United. All in the Europa league and all going for it.

How many times have you buried your grandparents?

Same as every year.
How's the pre-Christmas hopes of glory only to be dashed in Feb/March/April coming along?

None. That they know of.

(they're all dead already)

Stephen Ireland.

A sudden death in the family affords you two days off.