Epic fail

As I was perusing their article "10 of the Best Cycling Rain Capes" looking for a Chrimbo present for my girlfriend, I came upon this bit of questionable advice:

http://totalwomenscycling.com/lifestyle/30-things-can-fix-bike-sugru-42325/8

Out of sight...

...definitely fixed

I'd trust it.

A friend of mine is making some pretty cool ones: http://www.thepeoplesponcho.co.uk/collections/shop

Donald Trump urges ban on Muslims coming to US.

poke it with a stick hate mongering politics.

WAC

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-35035190

is he trying to derail his own campaign ?? the scary thing is he is gaining more popularity !

thankfully the usa has a rich and proud history of presidential assassinations

How is Trump intending on testing for "Muslim", is he going to use skin colour as a proxy, as it's easier than establishing someone's faith, or lack of it?

There'd be a highly advanced statistical study. Combining beard length with skin shade.

Carried out by the institute that the Sun uses.

Trial by water.

tie them up, chuck them in, if they float they're obviously evil muslims, if they sink they're good old innocent american folk.

Just make it a condition of entry to scoff a small Melton Mowbray. It would keep out those pesky Jews too.

There's a Vanity Fair profile from 1990 doing the rounds where Trump's then wife said he kept Hitler's collected speeches by his bed, and his brother in law used to click his heels and "Heil Hitler" when he went in his office. You know, for the bants.

When challenged Trump denied owning it, but then acknowledged he might but would definitely never read it.

Is owning literature. But not reading it.

The new 'not inhaling'?

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2015/08/donald-trump-marie-brenner-ivana-divorce

but would definitely never read it.

I find this believable.

How is Trump intending on testing for "Muslim".

Easy, same way as the Nazi test for Jews.

Actually exactly the same.

by looking at the boys' peepees?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischling_Test

Part One[edit]
The first part of the test is implemented by setting up three categories as follows:

A person with either three or four Jewish grandparents is considered to be a Jew.
A person with exactly two Jewish grandparents is considered to be either a Jew or a Mischling of the first degree8
A person with only one Jewish grandparent is considered to be a Mischling of the second degree.[9]
Part Two[edit]
The remaining problem was the treatment of a person with two Jewish, and two non-Jewish, grandparents. This leads to the second part of the test, which has four subdivisions.

A person with exactly two Jewish grandparents was deemed a Jew[10] if either:

a) he is a member of the Jewish religious community on 14 November 1935 or later becomes a member; or
b) he is married to a Jew on 14 November 1935 or later marries a Jew; or
c) his parents were married on or after 17 September 1935, and one of his parents is Jewish; or
d) he is born out of wedlock after 31 July 1936, and one of his parents is Jewish.
If such a person is not classified as a Jew under any of these four subtests, then he is a Mischling of the 1st degree (by the terms of Part One).

Could work, except that murcans like to genitally mutilate their male children by default

But surely The Donald has thought this through and has a 100% accurate test in mind for his Muslim Detect-O-tron?

it's going to be run by the same people that operate the 'ARE YOU OVER 18?' checkboxes on pron sites.

Fantastic, I'm over 18 and it works every time

They already ask you whether you're a terrorist when you enter the country and that's been pretty fool-proof so far. Problem solved.

So here's an idea. Get a one way ticket to America, have a nice holiday for a couple of weeks. Walk into INS and declare yourself to be both foreign and Muslim and get a free plane ride home. More money for splashing on booze and sausages.

Tweet of the year remains

"Donald Trump looks like the villain in a movie where the hero is a dog"

Via Guantanamo