• Oh, it's that Mr Loophole bloke, he got Fergie off by saying he was going to shit his pants unless he speeded. Jesus, I would just have accepted the £60 poxy fine. He actually said in court that it was running out of him like salad cream and he didn't have a rectum so much as a trapdoor and they let him off, the red-nosed shitty bum clown.

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